I’m so excited to tell you about the opening of my friend’s business Green Kids Closet, which will be having a consignment event starting today, 4/25, in Ridgefield Park through Saturday, 4/28. Mei Sin, the owner told me about her vision for a green business that she could run while her little one was in pre-school; and I was happy to help support her in manifesting her dream by discussing and reviewing materials before she opened.

This beautiful Baby Nay outfit (24 months) is now in the possession of Green Kids Closet!

The consignment event  also gave me a perfect excuse to go through my daughter’s closest and get rid of the clothing she no longer wears (I love you Zulily, but you broke my budget). I was happy to provide Green Kids Closet with our designer kids collection of the best of Baby Nay, Baby Lulu, Hype, Ralph Lauren, Moos Boos, Little Mass, and others. Instead of using Green Kids Closet’s Concierge Service, I recorded, printed out the labels and tagged the clothes myself. Of course, whatever I make (and vendors receive 50% of the sale) will go right back into my daughter’s clothing allowance.

Wishing Green Kids Closet lots of success!

Check out http://www.greenkidscloset.com and like her facebook at http://www.facebook.com/greenkidscloset.com

I realize I haven’t posted in a while, but its been a very, busy month and  have a lot of new projects in the works.

Now is an opportune time to be writing and blogging about women’s and mothers’ issues, mainly because politicians have made it so easy for us due to their insistance on clouding the issues, or the media, for that matter, because of their ridiculous touting of “Mommy Wars”. Who is getting it right? The bloggers. Especially the ones in the trenches, doing the “work” of mothering every day, every minute, every thought, every lunch, every hour. They “get it,” and have a special way of tapping into the zeitgeist that can even ellude some seasoned journalists.

I’m looking forward to joining Joshua Margolis of Mind Over Matter Health & Fitness on his blogtalkradio show tomorrow to discuss What Women and Mothers’ Need and How to Get It. Here is the blurb I wrote for the show. Hope you can tune in.

What Mothers and Women Need and How to Get It

by Turtle Shell Health

Call in to speak with the host

(818) 739-8804skype

I have a lot of ideas these days that need to be explored. That makes it a bit difficult to be a present mom to my daughter (I admit its easy to get distracted what with twitter, blogging, writing, iPads, iPhones, i don’t know what else they can invent at this point). I do try to be present for periods of time where we can sing, laugh, dance, read, and make funny faces. After all, isn’t the old adage true: the past is history, tomorrow a mystery and all we know is now, and that’s a gift, which is why its the present.

Since having my daughter (three years ago this month), I have reinvented myself as a parenting expert and columnist. But these days I’m interested in more than just the technical aspects of parenting. The issue is that what I am passionate about keeps changing, and so my energy gets redirected. Right now, I’m passionate about making societal and governmental change in the rights and respect given to mothers (and I’m not talking about breastfeeding). I’m talking about the invisible work that mothers do. You know what I mean: the cooking, cleaning, making appointments, chauffering children and always thinking, thinking, thinking. Its a wonder anything else ever gets done because our creativity is swept up in the caretaking aspects of mothering!

Meet the NYC Cast: Estelle Sobel Erasmus

by Varda on March 30, 2012

 

It gives me great pleasure to bring you today’s accomplished Meet the Cast member, Estelle Sobel Erasmus:

Estelle Sobel Erasmus is a journalist, former magazine editor, author, and columnist whose life and lifestyle has completely changed since the birth of her daughter in April 2009.

I recently asked how becoming a mother has changed her writing and this is what Estelle had to say:

“It’s almost like I see my life in two chapters: before becoming a mother and after. Before my life was very exciting, after, not so much (well, until I got cast in LTYM) but I can say that today my life is certainly more fulfilling.

Before becoming a mother I focused on health and beauty writing and editing. After becoming a mother I enjoyed writing about parenting and its many aspects.

Now through my experience with Mothers & More my passion for writing is being transformed into a passion for change. I enjoy giving voice to that change through my advocacy work and writing about the experiences of motherhood. ”

Estelle is an active member of seven meetup.com mommy groups; an advocate and supporter of local women-owned businesses, sits on the Board of Directors for the national non-profit Mothers & More, and writes a blog called Musings on Motherhood, Mid-life and other Forms of Madness (http://musingsonmotherhoodmidlife.com) where she covers many topics relating to motherhood and parenting.

Estelle is particularly passionate about re-framing our vision of motherhood, separating the role of “mother” from the “work” of mothering. She says:

“I have reinvented myself since becoming a mother, and I am now looking towards activism and towards a goal of having society and government value the invisible, unpaid work of mothering. We’re raising the citizens of tomorrow, and what happens is the work of mothering—cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, making appointments, planning, thinking constantly about everything—is invisible work.”

Estelle can also be found on Twitter as @mommymusings011 and on her Facebook Fan Page.

Q: My two-year-old toddler is showing signs of potty readiness (knows when she needs her diaper changed and asks for it; puts her teddy bear on the potty) but she’s leery about going on it herself. How can I be sure that it’s time to train her?

A: Relax Mom. She appears to be right on schedule. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics only between the ages of 18 and 24 months do children begin to have the cognitive, emotional and physiological developmental skills to begin potty training. Although the average age for potty training is between two and three years old, some children may not be ready until the age of three or more. Jill Leech is creator of the Potty Tots Potty Training Program (www.pottytots.com), which includes: adorable multi-ethnic characters, an animated story on DVD, a “Potty Song,” to help kids remember the steps to potty training, a Potty pal they can choose to train with and a variety of illustrated potty charts to use along with their Potty pal.

Jill believes in making potty training fun for toddlers and stress-free for parents and offers these tips:

Wait for the Right Date
Your child must be ready before potty training is introduced. Starting training too early will only lead to a frustrating negative experience. Check the following for “Yes” answers to gauge readiness:

Physical Readiness:
Can your child stay dry for a few hours at a time during the day?
Does your child recognize the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom?
Is your child uncomfortable in dirty diapers?
Can your child pull her pants up and down?
Can your child get to the potty by herself and sit on the potty for up to five minutes?

Emotional Readiness:
Does your child show interest in the potty or being a “big kid?”
Your child is neither afraid of the potty or the process.
Your child is generally cooperative (wants to please his parents).

Cognitive Readiness:
Can your child follow simple directions?
Does your child let you know when he is wet or soiled?
Can your child communicate the need to use the potty?

Make a Plan…Say Yes She Can
Keep track of your child’s potty schedule to determine how often you need to take him to the bathroom; decide on the type of potty you’ll use, and whether you’ll use pull-ups or training underwear, and figure out what types of rewards work best (stickers, outings, treats).

Draft Your Potty Dream Team
Inform everyone who will be helping out with potty training (that means Grandma, the day care workers, preschool teachers, etc.) about your child’s schedule and your methods and rewards. And it goes without saying that you must be ready yourself (skip the training if you are starting a new job, moving or giving birth).

Make it Fun for Everyone
Encourage your child to decorate his bathroom or potty. Keep a stash of books, small toys and finger puppets in the bathroom to help pass the time. Buy books or videos that show kids what to expect, sing songs and tell silly potty jokes.

Enlist A Potty Buddy to Help Her Study
So your toddler doesn’t feel she’s alone, enlist the help of a favorite stuffed animal or doll. Have your child help her little buddy learn the steps of potty training by being the “potty coach” and showing her friend what to do.

He Won’t Be Bored if You Give a Reward
If you generously bestow hugs and high fives, even for the smallest efforts, it will really pay off. Give your little one small tangible rewards and a way to “see” his progress via charts with stickers.

As long as you do your part in consistently training, motivating and rewarding your child, she will eventually master this task. Your reward? Ditching the diapers, and saving those dollars while you watch your little one take a giant step toward independence.

Mom’s Hair Needs Some Care

Q: I noticed you recently wrote about salons for kids’ haircuts. I was wondering if you could also recommend local salons where busy moms can go to get their hair cut, colored or blow-dried. I used to go to the city, but with kids I find that is now logistically impossible.

A: It took me a long time to find even one salon outside of NYC where I felt comfortable having my hair cut, colored or even blown out, but happily I’ve now found several excellent salons to meet those needs.

Salon Luba, Hackensack: http://salonluba.com; (201-343-5575). One of the wonderful attributes of this salon is that it’s open seven days a week (with several late nights). Kim does an excellent cut and blow dry, and Gary is my go-to-guy for color.

Pure Indulgence, Fort Lee: (201-947-3800). Lisa does it all: cut, color, blow dry (plus manicures, pedicures and waxing) in a small, intimate salon, that’s right in my neighborhood.

5 Salon & Spa www.5salonspa.com;(201-944-8011) Fort Lee: CK is the master of the blow-dry (and he does great cuts, too). When I was pregnant and too nauseous to wash and dry my hair myself, I sat in his chair on a weekly basis.

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Q: My daughter is addicted to her pacifier (a.k.a. binky). She always wants to have it in her mouth, and she’s 18 months old. I am trying to limit her use of it, but I don’t know how to get her to give it up. What are your suggestions?

A: My daughter is in the same boat. True, she’s two years old, but she’s loved the binky since birth (see photo). Right now we’re limiting it to her afternoon naptime and night time (and she’s fine with that). She has a funny routine where we have to “wash the binky” for her before she takes it in her mouth. Anyway, I always say that a binky is semi-permanent, but a thumb is forever, so I don’t mind it so much.  True (albeit embarrassing) confession: I was a thumb sucker well into my adolescence, so I’m not looking to go that route for my daughter.

I recently bought the book Baby’s Binky Box by Jennifer Ormond (www.jenniferormond.com); a tale that teaches toddlers to give up the binky on their own (by creating a box for the binky to “sleep” in). Also, I ordered The Binky Fairy by Andrea Van Ness (www.ThumbuddyToLove.com), which comes with a Binky Fairy puppet (which is supposed to replace the binky), a success chart and stickers. It’s a story of how the Binky Fairy visits in the middle of the night and gathers up children’s pacifiers and brings them to the hospital to help all the newborn babies. I’m excited to see how well these positive teaching tools will work for us.

Deborah Gilboa, MD, (www.deborahgilboamd.com), a board-certified family physician and mother of four, and Holly Klassen of www.thefussybabysite.com offer additional suggestions on how to wean your little one from the pacifier.

Limit Use to Reduce Abuse: Pick a milestone birthday to determine when the pacifier starts staying in your child’s bed or crib. Tell your child that he can have the pacifier any time he wants it, but he has to stay in the crib/bed while using it.

Cut it out, So She Won’t Pout. Snip a hole in the tip of the binky and then let her suck on it as much as she wants. The novelty will quickly wear off as she finds she can’t satisfactorily suck the binky anymore; but doing it in this fashion prevents her from thinking of you as the bad guy.

A Sticker Works Quicker: Let your child “earn” stickers for each time he doesn’t take his binky out of the crib or bed. Stickers work especially well at the end of breaking a habit to get your child over the hump.

Lose It, So She Won’t Use It: Get rid of all the pacifiers in your house (or put them away where only you can find them). If your child knows the binky is gone forever and there are no others stashed away nearby, she will manage to cope with the loss. However, if she knows there is another binky still in the house she will cajole and cry until you cave.

Wave Bye Bye Binky: Explain to your toddler that binkies are for babies. Create a special ceremony where you both say goodbye to the binky, and replace it with a specially chosen toy (such as a coveted stuffed animal or doll).

Good, Clean Culture for Kids

Q: Is there something fun I can do with my teenagers this summer to keep them close to home (and out of trouble)?

A: Check out www.fortleenj.org for a listing of events taking place in Fort Lee this summer. For example, the Fort Lee Film Commission is presenting the 2011 season of “Movies & Music Under the Stars,” which will take place every Saturday night from July 2 to September 3 beginning at 7 p.m. at the Jack Alter Fort Lee Community Center, 1355 Inwood Terrace. The music is from 7-8:30 pm; films will begin at sunset. Bring chairs, blankets, picnic baskets and make it a family outing. For more information call 201-592-3663 or visit www.FortLeeFilm.org.

Photo by Mary McConville of  www.tearsofjoyphotography.com 

Q: With sunny weather finally (finally) here, I want to take some flattering shots of my three-year-old outside in our backyard. Can you provide me with a few professional tips to get her picture-perfect?

A: While I enjoy looking at the pictures from my daughter’s holiday photo shoot last December (which took place indoors), I also love the photos my brother-in-law, a photographer, took of our family last summer in Ross Dock Park, because the pictures really pop against the backdrop of the George Washington Bridge and the Hudson River. I’ve also always appreciated the concept of showing a small child positioned next to an element representing the grandeur of nature (i.e. a winding river or canyon, fields of flowers, or in your case, perhaps a great oak tree from your backyard).

For additional tips on the best way to photograph a child outdoors, I turned to photographer Mary McConville of Tears of Joy Photography www.tearsofjoyphotography.com who specializes in photographing children and newborns.

The Right Location Starts the Creation: If you decide to opt out of taking photos in your backyard, some wonderful outdoor options to take pictures of your child include parks, playgrounds, zoos, beaches or botanical gardens. Look for locations with colorful backgrounds or an unusual piece of architecture or sculpture.

Set Up the Shot to Show What You’ve Got: You need to frame your image so that the child stands out in the photo, but doesn’t look strange with some object in the background (like a tree) appearing to grow out of his head or side.

“Smile! You’re On Candid Camera.” For the most natural shot, set the right mood by getting your little one involved in an activity (kicking a ball, blowing bubbles, picking flowers or berries, holding a balloon or kite), and then just start clicking away. This is an ideal way to capture the moments kids are having fun and just being themselves.

Use Natural light to Delight: For outdoor photos, the best time of day is the few hours after sunrise and the few hours before sunset. The sun is low in the sky during these times and provides a nice, soft light which looks beautiful in photos.

Get Low for a Great Photo: Shooting a photo of a child from overhead is a novice mistake, because it usually just looks awkward. For the most compelling (and intimate) shots it’s always best to sit, kneel or lay on the ground to get at eye level. From that vantage point try taking pictures at different angles to see which works best.

The Eyes Have It: When taking a photo, it’s important to zoom right in so your child’s face fills the frame and his eyes are in sharp focus, thus avoiding distracting backgrounds. This is one of the best ways to display your child’s personality and charisma and makes for extremely expressive photographs.

Trying to Find a Farm with Animals, Produce and Charm

Q: I love the idea of visiting a farm so my kids can feed the animals and I can sample some local produce. Any suggestions where I can go?

A: Try searching for a farm that offers produce via The State of New Jersey Department of Agriculture Jersey Fresh at www.state.nj.us/jerseyfresh/index.html. Here are a few I discovered that offer fresh produce plus a petting zoo (You might also find it useful to ask about their party packages).

Abma’s Farm and Market, 700 Lawlins Road, Wykoff; www.abmasfarm.com (201-891-0278) On this 30-acre family farm (dating back from the 1790s) you can find 75 seasonal varieties of home-grown vegetables and a wide variety of animals. The Dutch-style barn, one of the few 200-year-old barns still standing in Bergen County, was converted into a retail market with a “scratch” bakery and a gourmet kitchen.

DePiero’s Farm, Inc. 300 West Grand Ave., Montvale; www.depieros.com (201-391-4576); This farm offers pick your own pumpkins, a roadside market with fruits and vegetables (comprising 55 acres in Bergen County), fresh-made meats and fish, as well as a greenhouse, plant and garden supplies, “scratch baked” goods, specialty grocery items and hayrides. The petting zoo is located behind the greenhouse.

The Farm in Closter, 515 Piermont Road, Closter www.thefarmincloster.com; (201 768 1438). Visitors will find this family-owned and operated business contains a greenhouse; offers fresh fruits and vegetables, pumpkin picking, hay rides and of course, a petting zoo. You’ll also want to peruse the handicrafts and homemade decorative items (from Bali to Peru), as well as the outdoor furniture, birdbaths and hanging baskets.

Fort Lee Resident Cast in NYC Show Celebrating Motherhood

Estelle Sobel Erasmus auditioned for the part with a story about her daughter, and became one of 15 women who will read original essays on motherhood as part of the production in May.
By Erik Wander

A Fort Lee mother, journalist, blogger and activist has been cast in the first-ever New York production of Listen to Your Mother, a show taking place at the JCC Manhattan in May in which authors, writers, bloggers and performers read their original essays about motherhood.

Estelle Sobel Erasmus of Fort Lee is a journalist, former magazine editor, author and columnist who said her life has completely changed since the birth of her daughter in April 2009.

Erasmus described Listen to Your Mother, a national, 10-city series of readings, as being an event “in celebration of all aspects of motherhood.”

“The mission is to give voice to motherhood in all of its complexity, diversity and humor,” she said.

The show in New York features 15 women; across the country a total of about 150 are performing.

Erasmus heard about the opportunity to audition for the show through one of the Meetup.com mommy groups of which she is a member. Producers wanted original stories that “displayed something that’s totally you—your feelings about motherhood,” according to Erasmus.

“I had this piece about my daughter,” she said. “Out of all the journalistic pieces that I had done, this is the one personal essay piece that I did. I felt particularly strong about it, and I wanted to give it further life.”

Erasmus didn’t want to give too much away, in part because she wants people to come see the show, but she did say her story is about how she views a situation through her then 18-month-old daughter’s eyes.

“And because of how she reacts—through her—I see my possibilities and potential all over again,” Erasmus said, adding that she read her piece “from the heart” at the audition.

Once an opera singer, who’s done some acting—she even had a “five-line and under” part on The Guiding Light—and made numerous TV and radio appearances when she was a magazine editor, Erasmus admitted to being a little nervous for the audition at the end of February. But it would appear she quickly overcame that.

“Most people, when they talk about their top fears, one of the most common is public speaking,” Erasmus said. “But I love it.”

She learned about a week after the audition that she got the part. Her first rehearsal was March 11 for the show that takes place in early May, and she called the women she’s now working with “unbelievable.”

“They’re movers and shakers,” Erasmus said. “What was really special to me was that the women were all so empowering to each other. We’re all mothers, and everybody was really supportive. We all did a run-through. We read our stories, and I felt that it was so exciting to me to be with this level of creative, great writers—great women.”

Erasmus, who writes a blog called “Musings on Motherhood, Mid-life and other Forms of Madness” that covers topics relating to motherhood and parenting, said she considers herself “a journalist first,” but that as her now nearly three-year-old daughter gets older, she finds herself more focused on other types of women’s issues in addition to parenting.

“I loved writing about the technical aspects of parenting,” she said. “But I’m kind of looking broader now.”

Erasmus is on the board of directors of the national nonprofit Mothers and More, for example, and is a member of the Bergen County chapter.

She is speaking on behalf of Mothers and More in Toronto on May 9 at a Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI) conference called Motherhood Scholars and Activists Speak out on Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century. The title of her talk is “Rebelling against ‘Mom’: Finding Fulfillment Beyond the Media’s Myths of Motherhood.” She said she also considers herself an advocate and supporter of local, women-owned businesses.

“I have reinvented myself since becoming a mother, and I am now looking towards activism and towards a goal of having society and government value the invisible, unpaid work of mothering,” Erasmus said. “We’re raising the citizens of tomorrow, and what happens is the work of mothering—cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, making appointments, planning, thinking constantly about everything—is invisible work.”

One of her goals, she said, is to get society to value the unpaid work mothers and caretakers do “by separating the role of ‘mother’ from the ‘work.’”

Erasmus said she’s particularly excited to be a part of Listen to Your Mother, not only because it’s “giving life” to that story she wrote about her daughter, but also because it’s “impelling” her to get more involved in “this universe of writer/performers.”

“It’s kind of melding my passions, which is writing and acting and performing and telling a story,” Erasmus said, “and working with women who are very supportive.”

Listen to Your Mother is May 6 at 2 p.m. at the JCC Manhattan’s Goldman-Sonnenfeldt Family Auditorium, located at 334 Amsterdam Ave. at 76th Street in New York. Tickets are $30 with 10 percent of all ticket sales going to the charity, Room to Grow, supporting mothers and children. Sponsors of the event include The Motherhood and The Museum of Motherhood. Rene Syler of Good Enough Mother will be the host.

More information, including how to buy tickets, is available on the Listen to Your Mother NYC website.

In addition to her blog, Estelle Sobel Erasmus can be found on Twitter at @mommymusings011 and on her Facebook author page.
Related Topics: JCC Manhattan, Listen to Your Mother, Motherhood, and NYC

Stay tuned for more info. This event, as performed by mom bloggers, writers, actresses and producers, will excite your senses, stimulate your passion, and adeptly underline the reasons we become mothers and the affect becoming a mother has on our lives. You’ll laugh, cry, nod your heads in agreement and take a mental margarita during this not-to-be-missed afternoon in May.

Has your child ever asked you questions like: “mommy, how long do you need to wash hands to kill germs?” Or, “daddy, what causes tornados?”

If so, you’re probably aware how easy it is to get frustrated and flustered while attempting to explain the science behind these questions to your curious child. To the rescue: a quick family trip to Liberty Science Center in Jersey City can help show your child the answer to these questions and much, much more. In addition to special exhibits and activities for kids ages two to eight, Liberty Science Center has great options for teens and adults.

“At Liberty Science Center we try to have everything in the building be a teachable moment,” says Jeff Sasson, Vice President of Experience Integration. Those words ring true to Jersey City-resident, Elizabeth Phillips-Lorenzo who has been taking her eight-year-old daughter Maya to Liberty Science Center since her daughter was four-years-old.

“Maya would watch PBS Kids shows and loved programs that featured animals (real and imagined), so she was so excited to actually see the live animals and learn about them at Liberty Science Center. It made a real difference for her to see the actual tree frogs and little lizards, as opposed to seeing made up animals such as Barney, the purple dinosaur,” says Phillips-Lorenzo.

Many parents use the Science Center to teach their children about real-life scenarios and their effects,” says Sasson.

“When we saw the terrible devastation wrought by the earthquakes in Japan, we went to the Skyscraper exhibit, and my daughter was able to see moment by moment how it happened through hands on activities explaining earthquakes and building construction; which gave her a feeling of control,” says Phillips-Lorenzo.

Other great exhibits at the Center that provide opportunities to teach your children include:

*Energy Quest: children learn that there is radioactivity around us all the time, and test common objects with a Geiger Counter

*Infection Connection Lab: kids can wash their hands then check to see how many germs are left and where they are; learn the best way to wash; they can also extract real plant DNA.

*Our Hudson Home: participants learn what kinds of animals live in the Hudson River, and discuss what happens to animals when we litter or pollute the water.

*Wonder Why: science questions are asked and answered via six-foot high soap bubbles, challenging a rock climbing wall, and balancing a colorful beach ball on a stream of air

*I Explore Gallery: Ideal for little ones (ages two to five); there is also a free thirty-minute “We Explore” program weekdays.

Maya was also able to use the Touch Tunnel at the Science Center to deal with her fears of the dark. “Although you can’t see, you have to find your way through the tunnel by using your senses,” says Maya. “At first I was scared, but then I started to find my way through it, and then I timed myself to do it in eighteen seconds, and I was proud of myself.”

“I’m proud of her too,” says Phillips-Lorenzo. “She set her mind to a challenge, and she accomplished it.”

If you enjoyed this column, please follow me and recommend me to your friends at www.facebook.com/estelle.sobel.erasmus