Category Archives: Mom

Essays from the Heart and a Free Financial Webinar from Mothers & More

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POPLogo 2011Update 300x129 Essays from the Heart and a Free Financial Webinar from Mothers & MoreBy Estelle Sobel Erasmus

Mother’s & More,  recently ran a writing contest to support the annual Power of A Purse campaign, where through community outreach members of Mothers & More collect new and gently used purses and the organization also provides financial resources to disadvantaged women in shelters and through other non-profits.

Over the years, Mothers & More has collected over 20,000 purses, plus offered financial tips, resources, speakers and webinars to help these women, many who can’t for fear of discovery speak out about how they have been helped.

But make no mistake, they have been helped.

This year, to further amplify the message, the brilliant Power of a Purse team created a writing contest where members and nonmembers (who we hope will become members) were asked to write in 300 words or less, how the mission for Power Of A Purse resonates with their own personal purse story.

A team of talented writers and bloggers and community builders were the judges and the results are in.

The amazing winner of fantastic prizes such as a Layla Grayce purse and a consultation with a publishing expert, and the opportunity to have her writing featured on Brain, Child’s website is Mothers & More member, Joanne Depp.

Her essay is featured here on the Mothers’ Voices blog.

More will be featured in the coming months.

And, to cap off the Power of a Purse campaign, Mothers & More is presenting a free webinar with the CEO of Women & Co. Linda Descano on Monday, May 20 from 1:00-2:00 pm ET.

The topic of the webinar is “Take Control of Your Financial Future”. Linda went on a listening tour around the country to find out about men and women’s professional journeys, and she is going to share the secrets that she heard during her tour, distilled into 7 simple strategies to help you take control of your financial future.

Register for the webinar on the website at  Mothers & More.

If you have questions that you would like Linda to answer during her webinar, go to the FB page for Mothers & More, and ask away.

Remember, together, Mothers are powerful.

Estelle Sobel Erasmus is an award-winning journalist, who contributed to the anthology What Do Mother’s Need? Motherhood Activists and Scholars Speak Out on Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century (Demeter Press, 2013). She is the new national President of Mothers & More. 

Lessons Learned from Mom: The Gift of A Youthful Spirit

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FH000085 Bestelleandmom 209x300 Lessons Learned from Mom: The Gift of A Youthful Spirit

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

When Generation Fabulous asked me the question, what is the best gift I got from my mother the obvious answer was the one I wanted most not to say: my looks. I’ve been told my whole life that I look like my mother.  It is a gift, but it’s not the one I want to talk about now.

I think the true gift I got from my mother is her ever youthful outlook on life. Even in her 70s, my mother has always been up for just about anything. Want to go shopping? Sure. The movies? Ok. Out to breakfast, lunch or dinner? No problem. She treats life as a great adventure, and I think it has something to do with the fact that she was born in war-torn Poland, emigrated to the U.S. after the war, had to learn English and assimilate. She devours each new experience, with gusto always has. And surely, for those who know me, or have yet to meet me, that certainly describes my personality.

She isn’t afraid of taking risks. From starting a Yiddish department at C.W. Post College to embracing a second act career as a medical assistant (and then a teacher of medical assistants), my mom has always been up for a challenge.

A few more ways my mom exhibits her joie de vivre:

*She loves books and to read, because each time she opens a book it exposes her to a new world and new ways of thinking.

*She’s willing to get down on the floor with our four-year-old daughter and isn’t embarrassed about it. Not. One. Bit.  Whether my daughter wants to climb on the monkey bars, go down a slide, put together a puzzle or just play with her dolls my mom is game.

*She has always loved to write and even published a novel, based on her life (hint: she’s baby Marysia) called World’s Apart a few years ago. It’s a great read.
Lessons Learned from Mom: The Gift of A Youthful Spirit Lessons Learned from Mom: The Gift of A Youthful Spirit

*She loves to travel and when I was a magazine editor, I took her with me once on a press trip to Michigan, where she stayed up late hanging out with the other writers and editors, and kept pace with us (even enjoying the trade gossip) till we both collapsed into our fluffy beds sometime in the early hours of the morning.

*She passionately  loves her family and her children (me and my sister Michelle), her three grand-daughters and her life with her husband of over fifty years and isn’t afraid to shout it from the rooftops.

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Here we all are on a family cruise to celebrate my mom’s birthday last December.

Ultimately, I think it’s the sparkle in her eye, the ready smile on her face, and readier laugh as well as the need to be “seen” that gives my mother her spark for life.

I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

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Happy Mother’s Day mom. I love  you.

What is the gift that you feel you received from your mother?

The Alllure of Listen to Your Mother and a Giveaway

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

images The Alllure of Listen to Your Mother and a Giveaway

 

I was in the NYC 2012 production of Listen to Your Mother, and it changed my life.

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The 2012 NYC cast of Listen to Your Mother. Photo from Jennifer Lee Photography

Dramatic words, right? But, oh so true.

A brainchild of Ann Imig (you might know her from the award-winning Ann’s Rants),  the Listen to Your Mother Reading Series  truly gives “Mother’s Day a Microphone.”

So, yes, I took the microphone one day last year, and here’s how the experience of the phenomenon of Listen to Your Mother changed my life.

*I was a service-oriented journalist and the essay I wrote about my daughter that I auditioned with was one of the first personal stories I had ever written for public consumption. It felt wonderful to express myself in a new and powerful way.

*I had started a blog in 2011, but it mainly was a repository for my columns from Patch and Examiner. That all changed once I met the fantastic bloggers and performers who publish online who were in the cast with me, like Kirsten, Deborah, Holly, Kathy, Amy (our director), Varda (producer), Alysia, Patty and tons more. It made me decide to fill my blog with new posts, not regurgitated columns. That helped me find my voice. 

*I met my good friend and all around mensch Holly Rosen Fink through LTYM. Holly was one of the original members for the advisory council I put together for the board of Mothers & More, which as many of you know is a big part of my life.

*When I went to BlogHer last year, I not only knew a ton of bloggers via the #LTYM community, but I got to see a bit more of the amazing Ann Imig (the three words just go so well together, don’t you think). Ann also recently did a fantastic webinar for Mothers & More and I had the honor of interviewing her for it. 

Basically, Listen To Your Mother is changing the way America celebrates Mother’s Day, one story at a time.

This New York City production- one of 24 Listen to Your Mother shows taking place across the country this year- will feature prominent local writers and performers telling their own tales of motherhood in all of its complexity, diversity, and humor. Don’t miss this sometimes hilarious, sometimes touching, always engaging celebration.

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Here is a photo and video clip of me from last year’s reading series telling the story about my daughter And She Danced.

This post from last year gives a little taste of my LTYM experience, in a rap poem.

The Listen to Your Mother Reading Series NYC series will take place on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 12th at 5pm at Peter Norton Symphony Space (2537 Broadway at 95th Street). Tickets are $25 (advance), $30 (at the door) and can be purchased online at http://bit.ly/ltymsymphonyspace.

For one lucky reader, I am running a giveaway on my blog for tickets to Listen to Your Mother for the New York production. To enter, write a comment on this post. A winner will be randomly selected on Wednesday, May 8th.

Disclosure: I am receiving tickets to Listen to Your Mother for a giveaway, but the opinions, experiences and comments are all my own.

To enter the giveaway write a comment below why you want to win tickets to the NYC show of Listen to Your Mother.

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo Family Style

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1 standard 300x224 Celebrating Cinco de Mayo Family Style

It’s Fiesta time. Photo from http://catchmyparty.com

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

What holiday that your kids will love is just around the corner? It’s Cinco de Mayo, a Mexican holiday that is always celebrated on May 5th. The holiday marks the victory of Mexican troops over French forces in Mexico back in 1862. Now that’s serious business. But but to your kids, Cinco de Mayo is simply heaps of fun.

Here are a few suggestions on turning up the holiday “heat” while giving the kids good stuff to eat at a kid-friendly fiesta, from Jillian Leslie, creator of www.catchmyparty.com.

Belly up to the (Taco) Bar: Toddlers (and kids who are picky eaters) will appreciate a make-your-own taco or quesadilla bar. Offer a choice of chicken or beef; set out all the fixings (shredded cheese, salsa, sour cream, nacho chips), have a few disposable bibs on hand, and let your guests assemble their own creations.

Picture Perfect: Set up a homemade photo booth using a Mexican blanket as a backdrop. For the most memorable photos, stock a basket with props such as sombreros, maracas, fake mustaches, and posters that set the scene.

Children’s No-Blame Games: Try playing pin the tail on the donkey, do a dance off to Mexican music, or have the kids try to break a piñata filled with candy or dime store toys.

Sweet Treat: For dessert, let them feast on a moist and delicious tres leche cake (translation: a “three milk cake”).

If you have searched in vain for an easy-to-make recipe for les leche cake, try this thirty-minute confection (recipe courtesy of www.MrFood.com) that serves 12 people. And get your kids to help.

Tres Leche Cake

Ingredients

  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 ten-ounce prepared angel food cake, cut into ½-inch slices
  • 1 can (5 ounces) evaporated milk

Directions

  1. In a medium-sized bowl, with an electric beater on medium speed, beat 1 1/2 cups heavy cream for 5 to 7 minutes, or until stiff peaks form. Add 3 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk; stir to mix well. Cover and chill for about 10 minutes.
  2. Place the cake slices in a 9″ x 13″ baking dish.
  3. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the evaporated milk and the remaining sweetened condensed milk and 1/2 cup cream. Pour over the cake slices and cover; allow the cake to absorb the mixture for about 15 minutes. Top the cake with the chilled whipped cream mixture and serve  immediately, or chill until ready to serve.

Adiós. Now Gimme Some Sugar: As a fun goodie to stick in the gift-bag for guests, bake a batch of about two-dozen sugar cookies and cut them into festive shapes, using cookie cutters shaped like maracas, sombreros or margarita glasses.

Sugar Cookie

Ingredients

  • 4 sticks of butter
  • 2 cups of sugar
  • 3 eggs (2 for baking, 1 to use to brush on cookies)
  • 6 cups of flour
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 pinch of salt
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 375F degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, mix together softened butter with sugar.
  3. Add vanilla extract, baking powder, eggs (one at a time), and salt.
  4. Mix ingredients together, then gradually add flour until blended.
  5. Roll the dough into a thin sheet (about ¼ inch-thick) on a lightly floured board.
  6. Cut into shapes with festive cookie cutters. Brush some egg on each cookie and sprinkle with colored sugar. Bake for 12 minutes. Remove from oven and place on wire racks to cool.

 What are you doing to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with your family?

Stop “Rushing” to Label Women and Telling them to Stay Home

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus 

Rush Limbaugh recently unleashed somewhat incoherent ramblings against women on his show rehashing yet again the old, tired “The Mommy Wars” where he gave his thoughts on how feminist women are following their natural instincts-finally, according to him– by staying home to take care of their children and tried to incite conflict between stay-at-home moms and working mothers.

First he disparaged Raising America host, Kyra Phillips as “the wife of John Roberts of Fox News,” without crediting her as an award-winning journalist and broadcaster.

Next, Rush brought up the much-discussed and controversial (what else) cover of New York magazine this month, touting Kelly Makino, as the The Retro Wife. The story, talks about the trend of women who are purposefully leaning out of the workplace in droves.

The journalist who wrote the story neglects to mention, however, throughout the mainly anecdotal story that the archaic policies of corporate america when it comes to parenting, and including the needs of caregivers, is part of what is making many women make that decision, not just that they want to be at home. In addition, Dr. Jocelyn Elise Crowley,  Professor of Public Policy at Rutgers, states in her 2008 Sloan Report, 78.8% of stay-at-home moms plan to return to work for pay.

Lisa Belkin had an excellent response to that article  in the Huffington Post, which elaborated on some of the research and information lacking in the New York Magazine article.

Of course, Rush jumped right on the “women should stay home” bandwagon. In his show he said,

“Now, folks, it has become the norm, and now there are things called the mommy wars where more and more women — liberal, feminist women — are deciding that the way to really have it all is to get married, have a child, and stay home and raise the kid. ..So now the mommy wars have erupted and the feminists are upset at more and more women for deciding to let down the sisterhood, so to speak.But increasingly, by definition here, the numbers of women who are betraying feminism are liberal women. All these liberal women, and some liberal guys if they’ve got the guts to say so, act like they’ve come across some brand-new discovery: becoming a mother and actually staying home and raising the child.”

In the quest to sell magazines via incendiary coverlines, Kelly and her complete views was misrepresented by the media

She told the Huffington Post and reiterated to me, “that my reason to leave work-like for many others-was a complex decision, largely based in economics and concern for my children; the description of my home life left out the fact that I help run North Jersey Moms Meetup Group, a non-profit parenting organization, in my spare-time, and like many others-that I feel blessed for the luxury to be home with my little ones; yet feel the sacrifice of my self-hood in this role. Every. Single. Day. Lastly, there’s the fact that I have every intention of a career later, even if it means I need to go back to school to do it. The reason why New York Magazine reached out to me initially is because of my experience with Stay At Home parents (SAHP), but they turned this into a case study and edited out anything that wasn’t retro.”

This is no surprise to me. The misrepresentation of women and mothers in the media is rampant.

An excerpt from my chapter on the misrepresentation of women and mothers in the media based on a chapter I wrote for the book What Do Mothers Need?: Motherhood Activists and Scholars Speak Out on Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century (Demeter Press, 2013)  just appeared on The Broad Side today. My chapter states:

According to the National Organization for Women, the largest organization of feminist activists in the United States:

Media stories on women, work and family often are incomplete, because the stories report only on the experiences and attitudes of small or elite groups of mothers. Reporters often use these small groups to convey their stories as common to all mothers.

Other ways the media get it wrong:

•Framing the difficult options facing a mother as being a personal choice, rather than a result of public policy.

•Rehashing the Mommy Wars; the truth is that most women go in and out of the workforce during the course of their lives, and also while their children are growing up.

•By not recognizing that mothers who want to work, find fewer opportunities because of the inflexible, and archaic (set on a 1950s model of the man being the primary breadwinner and the wife and mother at home) structure of most of corporate America, which still believes that face time is key to getting ahead, even though most parents say the key to work satisfaction is the ability to have flexibility. Unfortunately, there is a gap between policy and practice because the concept of the “perfect” worker does not reflect the realities of modern family (enmeshed in caregiving for both children and aging parents) and society.

•Confusing the “work” of mothering (the activities that take care of a family) with the role of mother.

•Using the word mothering instead of the word parenting.

In the NY magazine article that Rush Limbaugh so happily espoused as a reason women, even liberal women who are feminists should stay home, Kelly’s husband’s role was not a clearly elaborated one, other than saying that he was a management consultant and made a six-figure-salary. But Kelly did shed a little more light on her husband for me, making him a truly full-dimensional person.

“My husband Alvin is incredibly supportive; he dialed back on his career when I needed him to before, and I’m sure he’ll do it again. I think that we have an extremely egalitarian gender dynamic in our home and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.”

I am telling the media right now. Stop with rehashing these “mommy wars, once and for all, and giving fodder to the likes of women-disparaging people like Rush Limbaugh.

The real focus of the media should be the issues of public policy for mothers: childcare, healthcare for children, the inequality of pay, flexible jobs, and the struggles and challenges of real everyday life for mothers and caregivers.

Mothers need to be involved in their own advocacy, and find one or many communities to provide support and encouragement as they seek to create change. To that end, as stated in my book chapter:

•If you read misleading portrayal of mothers in the media, including trend stories based on anecdotal accounts that are presented as facts contact organizations like the Women’s Media Center  or MissRepresentation or NOW (http://www.now.org)

•Create a petition on Change.org

•Call, write or email the media outlet or company with your concerns.

•If you feel that companies are off base in how they represent mothers, post your comments on their Facebook walls or Twitter. Use the immediacy of social media to support your cause.

•To find community, join Mothers & More, a national non-profit organization which touts the value of a mothers work whether paid or unpaid, provides opportunities to connect with like-minded women, and offers chances to give back to the community and economically disadvantaged women through advocacy efforts like Power of a Purse, where gently used and new purses are collected and provided to shelters.

• Check out Moms Rising, a group that is aligned with Mothers & More which highlights the issues and provides links to letters you can sign that go straight to policy makers.

•Pay attention to bills on the table (check out www.usa.gov) that will take away your rights and write to your local congressperson via writing to the United States House of Representatives.

•Write about the situation on your blog, or raise the situation to the attention of popular mom bloggers, whose community is one of the most powerful and influential online communities on the Internet.

Kelly ended our discussion by sharing this thought with me, “My greatest fear is that my piece is going to be used by conservatives to encourage women to stay home.”

Let’s use this example of one woman being so terribly misrepresented to start a better conversation, raise awareness and question the stories we are reading, and push for policies that support the real value of the work of caregiving in our society.

Isn’t that the real work we need to do?

 

Estelle Sobel Erasmus is an award-winning journalist and former magazine editor-in-chief who is on the Board of Directors of the national non-profit Mothers & More, a support, education and advocacy organization for mothers which emphasizes the value of a mother’s work whether paid or unpaid.

Her writing was recently featured in the anthology, What Do Mothers Need? Motherhood Activists and Scholars Speak Out on Maternal Empowerment for the 21st Century (Demeter Press, 2013) and in theThe BlogHer Voices of the Year: 2012 book for her article, “We Changed the Conversation,” for which she was named a 2012 BlogHer Voice of the Year. Estelle was a 2012 cast member in the first ever Listen to Your Mother NYC production; and is a 2012 Circle of Moms Top 10 Winner for Best Family Blog by a Mom.

Estelle chronicles her often humorous, sometimes serious but always transformative journey through motherhood, marriage and midlife on her blog, Musings on Motherhood and Midlife. She also writes acolumn about women making a difference for examiner.com and has been featured on The Broad Side, Kveller.com, Circleofmoms.com and Mamapedia.com. Estelle can be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Mothers & More’s Annual Power of a Purse Campaign Picks up Steam for 2013

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POPLogo 2011Update 300x129 Mothers & Mores Annual Power of a Purse Campaign Picks up Steam for 2013

purses3 300x225 Mothers & Mores Annual Power of a Purse Campaign Picks up Steam for 2013

There is Power in a Purse.

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

Many of you know that I am on the Board of Directors of Mothers & More, a fantastic 25-year-old non-profit that provides support, education and advocacy for mothers through:

  • Creating a network of national chapters and online networking forums by and for mothers encompassing non-judgmental communication and peer support
  • Offering webinars that give our members exposure to authors, women in business, and financial and workplace tools and tactics, that support our mission
  • Supporting financially disadvantaged mothers through our annual Power of a Purse campaign, where new and gently used purses and accompanying items, are collected and donated to shelters and other non-profits
  • Advocating for public policies that value the work of caregiving

I am delighted to be able to give you some incredible news about our 2013 Power of a Purse campaign that was just shared with our members. This is a repost of the information that went out. Please read through to the bottom to see how you can participate and/or donate.

For most mothers it’s a continuous balancing act to juggle the needs of ourselves, our families and our jobs, whether at home or in a workplace. Now, imagine the struggle of a mother who has little or no financial means with which to help her family.

That’s why Mothers & More has been dedicated to helping these mothers every year with our Power of a Purse campaign, during which, as mentioned above, members and chapters donate purses and personal items to financially disadvantaged women through shelters and other non-profit organizations.  A purse symbolizes a woman’s economic power and many families rely on a mother’s income. We also provide educational resources to help women increase their financial awareness, confidence and control.

Now in its fifth year, Power of a Purse has seen our members and chapters donate more than 20,000 purses and thousands of personal items. And this year we have even more in store.

We are  excited to announce that Linda Descano, CFA, President and CEO of Women & Co., a service of Citi that provides women with financial content and thoughtful commentary to get them talking and thinking about money, will be presenting a webinar, “Taking Control of Your Financial Future,” on Monday, May 20th at 1:00 pm EDT. Women & Co. will also provide us with a list of relevant links to financial resource content from its website that we can include in donated purses.  You can learn more at Women & Co.

We will launch a Writing Contest in April in celebration of Power of a Purse. The contest will be open to both members and non-members, and will be judged in separate categories for each. We invite you to tell us, in 300 words or less, how the mission of Power of a Purse resonates with you through your own “purse-onal” story. Perhaps it’s the money struggles you’ve coped with in the past, your current daily task of managing a household on a budget, or the financial concerns you have for your future, whether it’s saving for your retirement, paying for your children’s college, starting your own business, or planning for your dream vacation.

We will publish the top 5 stories in our Mothers’ Voices Blog. Prizes will include a one-year Mothers & More membership renewal for current members and a new one-year membership for non-members. We will announce additional prizes on our national FB page and on Twitter soon, so stay tuned.

Don’t miss our Twitter party about Power of a Purse (hosted by Culture Mom Media)  that will help you test your financial savvy. Join us on Thursday, April 11th at 9:00 pm EDT. We will offer lots of prizes and membership opportunities. To join, click here. 

We are honored to have wonderful judges for our writing contest, including Susan Carraretto, co-founder of the website and community 5 Minutes for Mom; Patty Chang Anker, author of the upcoming book Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave, to be published by Riverhead Books (Penguin) in the fall, who blogs at Facing Forty Upside Down; Jessica Rubin Cohen of the social good blog, Found the Marbles; Ciaran Blumenfeld of Momfluential, who also blogs for Casa de Chaos, and Lori Botterman, Senior Editor for Tribune Media Group, who blogs at Who Has More Fun Than People?

Email your entry between April 1st and 30th to powerofapurse@mothersandmore.org. Please be sure to include your full name, address, phone number, and if you are a Mothers & More member, list what chapter you belong to. All entries should be double-spaced.

Spread the word to your friends, both members and non-members of Mothers & More!

To learn more about the campaign,  visit the Power of a Purse page on the Mothers & More website.

And join Mothers & More

Remember, together, mothers are powerful!

Please email powerofapurse@mothersandmore.org if you have appropriate books or prizes to donate to our writing contest or for our Twitter party.

Please repost and share everywhere. Thank you!


5 Notes on Teaching Children about Music

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dancingwithdaddy 300x221 5 Notes on Teaching Children about Music

Dancing with Daddy

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

Music has always been a part of my life. I was in chorale then choir in junior high and high school, and studied opera from the age of 11-18. I started out in Boston University as a voice major and transferred into communications by the end of my freshman year, mainly because I realized that the concept of waiting tables till I had my big break had little allure (of course, I didn’t realize that the equivalent was graduating and then taking on an oh-so-not-rewarding-for-me secretarial job to men and women less cultural than me).

It’s no wonder than that I decided to make music a large part of my daughter’s life, even before she came into the world. For example, when her name was just my and my husband’s little secret, I would sing every morning, “Good morning, Crystal. The earth says hello. You twinkle above us, we twinkle below. Good morning Crystal. You lead us along. My love and me as we sing our early morning singing song. Lippee lap loopee.” Well, you get the picture…

And when I was going in for my unexpected c-section after fifteen hours in hard labor, I asked the anesthesiologist if he wouldn’t mind it if I sang so that I wouldn’t be nervous while my doctor cut me open and took out my daughter. A rather robust (if slightly giddy, and probably too loud) rendition of “Sunrise, Sunset” was the staff’s, er, reward as my husband held my hand tightly and we welcomed our baby into the world.

Which in a roundabout way brings me to this point:

If you’ve ever wondered whether singing to your child can help his or her development, then ponder no further. The value of music in a child’s development is critical according to the latest research, cited in Psychological Science, which says that in a study of a group of children (ages 4-6) those children who received music training in rhythm and melody for two hours a day for 4 weeks, exhibited significant gains in verbal ability and improved self-control, attention and memory.

Besides offering children an opportunity to act silly, have fun and let loose; music can help develop language, concentration, social skills confidence and self-esteem.

According to music education expert Kenneth K. Guilmartin, Founder/Director of Music Together® which celebrated its 25th anniversary in 2012, “All children are naturally musical.  Just as they are born with the potential to learn to speak and understand language, they have the ability to learn music from birth.”

Guilmartin offers some tips to help your children along on their musical journey. I’ve incorporated all these tips into my daughter’s upbringing and I highly recommend them.

Take a Chance; Sing and Dance: Kids learn through imitation. You know, if you read books and have a love of reading, they’ll want to read. If you sing and dance, they will, too. Making music doesn’t have to depend on playing a CD. Sing, bang a drum, get up and dance. Forget about hitting perfect notes or getting every word right. This is not American Idol! It’s about sharing your enjoying of music with your child.

Make Music Your Muse: Respond musically to cues from your child. For example, if your baby or toddler “coos” on a pitch, return the sound. Join in with your child if she starts singing in the car or when she’s playing. If your child brings you an instrument, or creates one, make sure to stop what you are doing and play along.

Show That Family Time is Sublime: Make music as a family. Initiate a dance party or a sing-along. Pull out the pots and pans and form a marching band. Try nixing TV time or technology (i.e., computer games) in favor of a fun, musical evening at home.

Say a “Sound” Goodnight: Create a regular bedtime routine by singing a lullaby, either alone or together. The soothing sound of your voice can give your child an oasis of calm in a busy day.

Don’t Pass on a Music Class: You may feel your schedule is already too busy to add one more activity to it. But don’t miss out on joining an early childhood music program that offers a rich musical experience in a fun, informal environment, without the pressure to “perform.”

All children can learn to sing in tune and move to the music, as long as you start them on that path early. Bottom line: “It’s not important that you sing or move well; its important that you model singing and moving for your child,” says Guilmartin.

So the next time your child is humming the theme to her favorite cartoon and rocking to the beat, make sure you join in and make some music together.

I know I’m glad I did–and still do.

How did you introduce your child/children to music?

 

Annie: The Sun WILL Come Out Tomorrow

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

anniecurt12 300x297 Annie: The Sun WILL Come Out Tomorrow

Cast Photo at a Curtain Call on Opening Night

My husband was feeling ill (with remnants of a stomach bug) the evening we had tickets to Annie last week. Not wanting to sit in a Broadway theater alone last-minute watching one of my favorite shows from childhood,  I gently reminded him of the time I attended one of his colleague’s child’s birthday parties in my early days of pregnancy while suffering from acute morning sickness; and  this summer when I dragged myself out of bed, to go out-of- state while feeling feverish (I was later diagnosed with bronchitis)  to attend another work-related party.

I prevailed and thankfully we both enjoyed sitting in the Palace Theatre watching the amazing performances in Annie. (I even think the extra dose of optimism offered by the feel-good show made him get better right away-how else to describe why he was back to his healthy self the next morning?)

I remember when Andrea McArdle played Annie back in 1977, 35 years ago. This revival of the musical story of a curly-haired ginger-haired orphan who meets and changes the life of a billionaire (and helps President Franklin Roosevelt decide on a New Deal) during the Great Depression is directed by Tony award winner James Lapine.

The magic of the story I remember from my childhood has stood the test of time.

The curly-haired heroine is normally played by  Lilla Crawford, who was absent that day. However, the can-do attitude and aptitude of her understudy, Taylor Richardson impressed me. 

Anthony Warlow as the bark-is-worse-than-his-bite industrialist  Oliver “Daddy” Warbucks wows. The Australian actor with an operatically-trained voice is a self-proclaimed “vocal colorist” and his renditions of “N.Y.C.” and “Something Was Missing” are beautiful, and moves the story forward. His version of Daddy Warbucks has a clear connection with his little co-star as well as a palpable hint of  romantic chemistry with his personal assistant, played by Brynn O’Malley (Broadway’s Wicked, Sunday in the Park With George) as Warbucks’ personal assistant, Grace Farrell.

Two-time Tony Award winner Katie Finneran (Noises Off and Promises, Promises) plays the boozing Miss Hannigan as a down-on-her-luck, once femme fatale who has seen better days (unlike the more cartoonlike renditions by previous Miss Hannigan’s Carol Burnett and Bernadette Peters). She has run out of options, hates kids (particularly the opinionated Annie), which is why she is happy to concoct a scheme with her ne’er-do-well brother and his not-too-bright gal pal to rob Warbucks of his bucks and help them land on the proverbial “Easy Street.”

There is even a sweet back story behind the role of Annie’s dog Sandy, played by Sunny, a two-year-old terrier mix who was discovered literally a day before he was about to be euthanized.

Given the turmoil we face in our country now, the chaos and the dysfunctional state of the nation, and the “fiscal cliff” we’re about to fall off of,  this tale of New York City set in the 1930′s, feels mighty current to me. More importantly we need that anthem of hope, best memorialized in the song (which by the way, I challenge you to stop singing),

“Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I Love Ya. Tomorrow. You’re Always a Day Away.”

For more about the new Broadway production, visit AnnieTheMusical.com.

Disclosure: We received two tickets to attend the show and review Annie. The opinions shared here however, are all mine.

Toys Are US: The Gifts You’ve Got to Get

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

My daughter loves playing with toys. That’s why when she recently had an opportunity to trial play with some of the hottest toys of the season at the Big Toy Book’s Biggest Day of Holiday play blogger event (#TBTBHoliday), we hightailed it to the city on a Saturday morning to find out what the buzz was all about.

Here are some of her favorites from the day and links to find more information:

Hasbro Koosh 

She loved using the little-hands-friendly KOOSH ball launchers (see pics above), and mom (me) loved that each colorful ball launcher in the KOOSH Galaxy series uses balls that are soft (so they won’t hurt) while she plays.

 

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Letting the KOOSH loose

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Drip Drops

This new, digital preschool toy has adorable characters that use art, color, reading and positive reinforcement  to teach problem-solving and teamwork. The Story of the Drip Drops eBook is now available as a free download in the ITunes Bookstore and Google Play.

My Magical Wand Cinderella (Tollytots)

My daughter is just the right age (3 1/2) for this, and  loves to wave her magic wand and then have Cinderalla’s story come to life in lights. The Disney Princess doll tells her tale as images from the story (the clock, the castle, the coach) magically light up on her skirt. She can sing along to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo as she brushes the doll’s beautiful hair and puts on her shimmering tiara. $49.99

Toys Are US: The Gifts Youve Got to Get

Boogie Board

The ultra-thin, highly portable (read: plane, train and car-friendly) Boogie Board LCD eWriters are the eco-friendly, electronic paperless replacement for memo pads or  sticky notes. You can use them to write, draw, play Tic Tac Toe, or practice writing skills. And they’re cute to boot.

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Mystixx Vampires (Dolls)

 

My daughter clamored for the stunning two-faced, vampire doll Mystixx®  Vampire Dolls with purple hair. There are actually four dolls with the backstory that they are popular girls at school by day and powerful vampires at night, which makes it possible to transform the doll’s personality with a twist of its head.  Each doll has two distinct faces, two complete outfits, two interchangeable wigs, 2 pairs of shoes and accessories for $19.99. The dolls are sold exclusively at Toys ‘R’ Us® and attoysrus.com.

Just Play Toys

 

My daughter had a lot of fun playing in Minnie’s Kitchen. She also bounced with Tigger and fixed boo-boos with Doc McStuffins.

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Lite-Brix

 

She was able to get creative with the LITE BRIX™ Super Light Building System from Cra-Z-Art®. The light-up building construction set has vibrant sparkling lights in each translucent brick, allowing her to turn her creation into a beautifully lit masterpiece for day or night. What I love is that they’re compatible with our other bricks, and the battery powered LEDs cycle through four different colors. The full Lite Brix™ line is available at Toys R Us stores nationwide, Barnes and Noble and select other retailers, and prices start at $19.99.

 Fly Line

My daughter experienced being a pilot with the FlyLine. With the help of an instructor (not provided with the toy), she tested her skill at controlling a plane at supersonic scale speeds.  To see the adrenaline-packed experience in action check this out.

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Pomz

She loves the fuzzy friends with changeable faces, and enjoys wearing them on her shoulders or in her hair. Each POMZ character has a built-in clip on the back that lets you attach it to backpacks, pencils, hats, or even your hair. The character faces snap on and off so you can mix and match and trade the characters.

Yummy Dough

This was right up her alley. For kids of all ages it’s a cinch to have fun with a sweet-to-eat dough that combines creative crafting with the joy of baking in a just-add-water mix. They are even offering my reader’s a promo code (BOGODOUGH) until January 1, 2013, for a buy one-get one-free Yummy Dough at http://www.smartyparents.com. 

And last but not least, there’s Slinky®, which I have fond childhood memories of watching slowly, yet gracefully descend down the stairs. My daughter loves playing with its spiral shape, and I take delight that such a precious part of my youth continues to entertain and amuse yet another generation.

Yes, the toys were great, but it’s also always nice to meet new friends!

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Everything on this list is something I would buy for myself. We received a few of these items to review. 

What are some of your favorite toys that you gave or received this holiday season?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Have No Words

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

I can’t write about Xmas gifts or shows or books or holiday plans today. The “business” posts I need to do can wait. The only post I was able to write was my column for examiner.com on how to talk to your kids about the Newtown shootings and other traumatic events. Because so many people need this information.

Everything else seems superfluous. I can’t speak about the shooting for long before breaking down in tears.

The kids massacred were six and seven years old. So young. So vital. So ready for firsts in their lives. The first time going to the circus; the first cruise; the first family reunion. And later, the first kiss. The prom. Graduation. College. A wedding and their own kids.  All those possibilities gone now. Forever.

I can’t think about what the parents of those children are going through. My heart feels like its stopped beating when I even try. Love is eternal; but that doesn’t matter if the object of your love is not there any more. The teachers and principal were heroes, valiantly struggling to save their charges.

My tears soak my pillow as do the tears of every parent out there who trembles at the very thought of what has happened.

We love, we fear, and still we feel it is not enough.

How can we protect our children in the midst of madness?

 

The Power of Self Expression

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IMG 1339 225x300 The Power of Self Expression

To express yourself fully, I believe you need to let your creativity flourish and bloom

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

I will be featured on the radio show Make Peace at Home, tomorrow, live to discuss a topic close to my heart, The Power of Self-Expression. I’ll speak about my story, my experiences with Listen to Your Mother, how I’m raising my daughter to have a voice, my transformative journey through motherhood, and tips for finding your own voice as a writer, storyteller and woman.

Wokie Nwabueze, the host, is a certified mediator and conflict coach and the mom of two very young children and understands the potential conflict that we all face as we nurture and grow intimate relationships. Wokie firmly  believes that the way we handle conflict shapes the way we and our children see the world.

I interviewed Wokie recently about her show and plans for the show.

How did you come up with the idea for the radio show Make Peace at Home?

I have been a conflict and communication expert for my entire career but when my first daughter was born, my relationship suffered and we really struggled to communicate and resolve conflict as new parents. I started to watch couples–friends, family and strangers–and realized that the stress and transition of parenthood is something that few of us are prepared to manage. I also realized that when I was mindful of my own feelings and the way I communicated in my relationship, things improved dramatically.
Make Peace at Home is a name I chose deliberately because I believe that peace takes action. We must create it, nurture it, for it to survive the ups and downs of life in any family. The radio show provides a vehicle to have important conversations, share important skills and to allow listeners to feel normal and supported.

Who are some of your guests, and what are some of the key points they have made?

My guests so far have been wonderful. Some examples: I’ve interviewed psychologist Joshua Coleman who shared tips on how to get men more engaged in the business of running a household; author and activist Kristin Maschka who discussed her book, Redefining Motherhood and a very compelling perspective on steps women can take to renegotiate elements of their lives once they become moms. We’ve discussed self esteem and how it impacts teen/parent conflicts, biological realities that underpin our relationships, identity and conflict and the list goes on.

When in a conflict, what is the best way to approach it?

The best way to approach conflict is not to be afraid of it. Don’t assume it has to be bad because if approached well, many conflicts can have positive outcomes.  When in conflict, try to really understand your feelings. What are you reacting to and why? Then think of the other person and do your best to see it from their point of view. With that understanding, you can begin to communicate effectively by stating what the issue is, how it affects you and acknowledging the other person’s perspective. If both parties are open to a conversation based on understanding and acknowledgement, negotiating a solution comes naturally.

What is the number one thing a woman can do to help her family get along and why?

I think the number most important thing women can do is model the behavior they want to see and be clear about the behavior they will accept. Getting along is really about being emotionally self aware, empathic and mindful of others and clear in your communications.

I write a teachable moments column for examiner.com. How do you use teachable moments in your family?

For me, teachable moments start with the question “why”. I try to explain things to my children as much as I can. For example, if one of my children grabs a toy from the other, I try to use that moment to not only correct their behavior but to also talk about fairness, taking turns and feelings. My hope is that they learn to think about behavior, and choose how they act for the right reasons. It’s so much more valuable if they can say “I won’t take that toy because it’s not my turn yet,” over “I won’t take it because I’ll get in trouble.” It isn’t easy and I’m certainly not perfect at making every moment teachable but the more I make teaching my goal, the more moments I find to teach.

Make Peace at Home is on Tuesdays, 5pm EST. Catch me on the show tomorrow.

For my other radio show “appearances” check out

Blog Talk Radio-Link

Transformations with Tara on Contact Talk Radio- Link Description of Show

For my readers: How do you teach your children to have a voice?

Achoo is it the Flu?

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By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

IMG 1064 225x300 Achoo is it the Flu?

There’s no celebrating when you feel sick!

It’s that time of year again. Holiday time? No, flu time. And if you got it, than it gives the term “going viral” a whole ‘nother meaning.

Believe it or not, according to my research each year, nearly 25 million people will seek care related to colds and upper respiratory infections. As if those stats aren’t harrowing enough, young children get on an average six to ten colds during winter, and symptoms can last on average for fourteen days (which if you’re like most parents feel as endless as the lines were at Toys ‘R Us on Black Friday).

Here’s my unofficial guide on how to treat, and maybe even beat the most common two bugs that attack you (and) your children. And as an added bonus, you can click on the picture below to get your free coupon for cooling sore throat lozenges.

The Bug: Rhinovirus (and no, this is not a cute animal with horns; although you might feel like one–the not cute variety–after dealing with this beastly bug).

The Crime: The virus (which causes over 50 percent of colds in kids and adults) is spread by coughing, sneezing and hand-to-hand contact. Coughing and sneezing send droplets containing the virus into the air, where its easy to get infected if the droplets come in contact with the mouth, nose, or eyes. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) a whopping 52.2 million cases of the common cold affect Americans under 17 every year and nearly 22 million school days are lost annually.

The Time: Symptoms may appear within one to two days of exposure (and as mentioned last as long as two weeks) and include runny nose, congestion, cough, fever, sore throat and a lack of appetite. Congestion can lead to secondary problems like ear and sinus infections.

 

Avoid the Whine:Unfortunately, there is no cure for the common cold, so you really just have to treat the symptoms, and use ibuprofen (for children six months and older)  and acetaminophen (aka Tylenol) to reduce the fever.

Chicken soup is a great panacea; mainly because it contains a mucus-thinning amino acid called cysteine, and some research shows that chicken soup helps control congestion-causing white cells, called neutrophils. The happy result: an anti-inflammatory effect which can ease swelling in the upper respiratory tract.

The Bug: Influenza (The Flu to you)

The Crime: Like the cold viruses, the influenza virus is spread by coughing and sneezing into the air, as well as by hand-to-hand, mouth, eyes or nose contact. Symptoms range from mild runny nose and congestion with a low-grade fever to severe cases with high fever, shaking chills, severe cough, and muscle aches. You or your child may also get headaches, have a sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and possess a deep rattling cough.

The Time: The flu and accompanying symptoms can last from three days (and lucky you if that’s your situation) to two weeks.

Avoid the Whine:  It’s important to treat the pain, control fever and prevent dehydration. unfortunately there is no cure. Most adults and children over the age of six months who are not allergic to eggs can receive a vaccination which targets the three expected infectious strains each year. There is also a nasal vaccination, which because it is a live virus vaccine may cause mild symptoms, and is only indicated for patients over the age of two without a recent history of asthma.

Whatever you do, don’t um, bug your doctor for antibiotics to treat a virus (antibiotics only treat bacteria). It won’t work, and will add to the growth of bacteria that don’t respond to treatment.

Instead, if you have a virus, indulge in some much-needed downtime. And if your child has one, offer your little one some down-home comfort in the form of hugs (for obvious reasons skip the kisses this time around),  so you and your whole family can get some much-needed rest.”

Now that’s a prescription for health worth following.

How do you take care of your kids or yourself when a bug comes knocking at your door.