Monthly Archives: November 2012

Celebrating Hanukkah Out of the Box

Posted on by

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

IMG 0033 225x300 Celebrating Hanukkah Out of the Box

Hanukkah Bingo from The Hanukkah in a Box kit from Jewish Holidays in a Box is a clear hit in our house

My daughter loves to play games. She enjoys her CandyLand, and we also get a lot of mileage out of puzzles (it doesn’t hurt that mommy loves putting them together, too). But I was stymied about what to do about Chanukah this year. Playing dreidel is a given (although try to find a dreidel this time of year and you’re out of luck).

BOOKLETIMG 4710 193x300 Celebrating Hanukkah Out of the Box

A great booklet explaining all about the Festival of Lights.

That’s why I was delighted to get Hanukkah in a Box from Jewish Holidays In A Box . The box is literally a party in a container.

The kit includes 4 plastic dreidels with a large laminated card deciphering the meaning of the symbols and teaching how to play the game (admittedly, I needed a refresher course). The box also contains:  napkins, coloring pages, a cool-looking paper menorah with cut out candles to use as a coloring and gluing craft project, a kid-friendly all-about-Hanukkah primer with the story of the holiday (see photo above) and laminated large reference cards, which include Hanukkah Candle Lighting tips, Blessings,  a Glossary, FAQs, Decorating Tips,and a yummy Latke Recipe. There’s more..for the singers in the family (like yours truly), there’s a laminated song sheet (Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah and I Had a Little Dreidel are a few of the songs featured on the sheet), plus decorative paper goods and ribbons (which my daughter -clearly thinking out of the box- already used to play with the cat).

But the clear hit  for my daughter and our family was the Hanukkah Bingo game which had its appearance during Hurricane Sandy and subsequent power failure while grandma and grandpa were staying with us since (unlike her toy of choice, my IPAD or precious Dora the Explorer TV Show),  it requires neither WI-FI or electricity.

Also..there is an audio CD which takes you through the blessings, explains how to pronounce Hebrew words and gives the meanings. Plus a bunch of thank you notes that the kids can use to thank family and friends for the Hanukkah loot (or gelt). That’s a lot of bang for your….box!

HIBboxIMG 4675 300x228 Celebrating Hanukkah Out of the Box

If you have kids or planned nights with the grandparents, you need to get this NOW, so you can breathe a sigh of relief (like I did). Jewish Holidays in a Box (which offers a variety of other kits, too), has you covered.
Disclosure: I received a kit to review, but the opinions expressed here are my own.

 

Achoo is it the Flu?

Posted on by

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

IMG 1064 225x300 Achoo is it the Flu?

There’s no celebrating when you feel sick!

It’s that time of year again. Holiday time? No, flu time. And if you got it, than it gives the term “going viral” a whole ‘nother meaning.

Believe it or not, according to my research each year, nearly 25 million people will seek care related to colds and upper respiratory infections. As if those stats aren’t harrowing enough, young children get on an average six to ten colds during winter, and symptoms can last on average for fourteen days (which if you’re like most parents feel as endless as the lines were at Toys ‘R Us on Black Friday).

Here’s my unofficial guide on how to treat, and maybe even beat the most common two bugs that attack you (and) your children. And as an added bonus, you can click on the picture below to get your free coupon for cooling sore throat lozenges.

The Bug: Rhinovirus (and no, this is not a cute animal with horns; although you might feel like one–the not cute variety–after dealing with this beastly bug).

The Crime: The virus (which causes over 50 percent of colds in kids and adults) is spread by coughing, sneezing and hand-to-hand contact. Coughing and sneezing send droplets containing the virus into the air, where its easy to get infected if the droplets come in contact with the mouth, nose, or eyes. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) a whopping 52.2 million cases of the common cold affect Americans under 17 every year and nearly 22 million school days are lost annually.

The Time: Symptoms may appear within one to two days of exposure (and as mentioned last as long as two weeks) and include runny nose, congestion, cough, fever, sore throat and a lack of appetite. Congestion can lead to secondary problems like ear and sinus infections.

 

Avoid the Whine:Unfortunately, there is no cure for the common cold, so you really just have to treat the symptoms, and use ibuprofen (for children six months and older)  and acetaminophen (aka Tylenol) to reduce the fever.

Chicken soup is a great panacea; mainly because it contains a mucus-thinning amino acid called cysteine, and some research shows that chicken soup helps control congestion-causing white cells, called neutrophils. The happy result: an anti-inflammatory effect which can ease swelling in the upper respiratory tract.

The Bug: Influenza (The Flu to you)

The Crime: Like the cold viruses, the influenza virus is spread by coughing and sneezing into the air, as well as by hand-to-hand, mouth, eyes or nose contact. Symptoms range from mild runny nose and congestion with a low-grade fever to severe cases with high fever, shaking chills, severe cough, and muscle aches. You or your child may also get headaches, have a sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and possess a deep rattling cough.

The Time: The flu and accompanying symptoms can last from three days (and lucky you if that’s your situation) to two weeks.

Avoid the Whine:  It’s important to treat the pain, control fever and prevent dehydration. unfortunately there is no cure. Most adults and children over the age of six months who are not allergic to eggs can receive a vaccination which targets the three expected infectious strains each year. There is also a nasal vaccination, which because it is a live virus vaccine may cause mild symptoms, and is only indicated for patients over the age of two without a recent history of asthma.

Whatever you do, don’t um, bug your doctor for antibiotics to treat a virus (antibiotics only treat bacteria). It won’t work, and will add to the growth of bacteria that don’t respond to treatment.

Instead, if you have a virus, indulge in some much-needed downtime. And if your child has one, offer your little one some down-home comfort in the form of hugs (for obvious reasons skip the kisses this time around),  so you and your whole family can get some much-needed rest.”

Now that’s a prescription for health worth following.

How do you take care of your kids or yourself when a bug comes knocking at your door.

 

Get Your Child Fit by Doing Your Bit

Posted on by

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

 

IMG 1295 225x300 Get Your Child Fit by Doing Your Bit

Her love for ice-cream parallels (almost) her love for her mom and dad.

IMG 1297 225x300 Get Your Child Fit by Doing Your Bit

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

With the possible farewell to Hostess cupcakes,  Twinkies and Ring-Dings ringing in my ears, I’ve had some uh, food for thought.

Yes, like the rest of you I’ve read the myriad of studies showing that children are becoming obese in alarming numbers, and I’m as equally concerned that my three-and-a-half year old daughter (who is quite slim now after a few rather chunky baby years) has a bit of a Goldfish cracker, ice-cream and chocolate addiction.

Recently I had my favorite brand of Trader Joe’s chocolate tucked away in the freezer (out of sight out of mind and out of greedy little hands goes my thinking). Imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning to the sight of my daughter with a brown smear around her mouth leaning over me, reeking of chocolate and looking quite pleased with herself.

Our conversation went like this:

ME: What’s that around your mouth?

Her: Nothing

ME: That’s chocolate.

Her: No it’s not (how does a pre-schooler learn how to lie like a not-to-be-named actress noted for stealing jewelry)?

ME: Let me smell your breath (Note: dealing with a pre-schooler is very much like being in a co-dependent relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic).

One chocoholic in the family is quite enough thank you very much.

Although my worries about the epidemic of childhood obesity are probably just another expression of my abject neurosis, I am starting to see subtle signs that one day I may need to indulge in getting a lock for the refrigerator just to keep her from sticking her face in the frig at all hours (Yes, she does THAT).

So, what do I do to keep my little darling moving so that exercise (as well as binge eating) becomes a part of her life?

I tape shows like Dancing with the Stars, and the X-Factor and we dance around the room together while listening to performances.

I figure that since she’s been modeling my behavior in every other way for a very long time (Hi, I want pizza,” she orders into her refurbished iPhone hand-me-down),  she might as well follow my healthful lead.

On a serious note, Head Start Body Start National Center for Physical Development and Outdoor Play, which is part of the Surgeon General’s Childhood Overweight and Obesity Prevention Initiative, suggests a few fun activities you can do with your child to help encourage a healthy lifestyle and develop her motor skills using easily accessible materials such as beach balls, paper plates and pool noodles.

Having a Ball: For a game of “Simon Says” with a twist, have your child toss a beach ball up into the air and do what Simon (you) says before it hits the ground. Simon can give directions such as “touch your nose,” “clap your hands,” “twirl around” or “jump up and down”.

Paper Scooting Around: On a carpeted floor, place a small object on a paper plate and ask your child to “deliver” it to you on the other side of the room. To make the delivery he should place both hands on the plate and push it towards you, keeping his knees off the floor. This is a great way for your child to develop upper body strength, stability and endurance.

Find Balance Using Your (Pool) Noodle: Tape a flat pool noodle to the floor and ask your child to pretend he is performing a high wire daredevil act at the circus. Tell him to walk across the “beam” forwards, sideways and backwards, and then squat with a straight back and stand back up again.

For more activities, visit the Head Start Body Start Toolbox at www.headstartbodystart.org. Each month the Center features a free, downloadable “Let’s Get Moving” physical activity calendar that offers a simple, fun movement idea for every day of the month.

As for me, I’m looking forward to enjoying all the treats of the Holiday Season, in moderation, safe in the knowledge that I will be starting a diet in the New Year.

You can, um, count on it.

And riddle me this: How do you keep your kids out of the danger of childhood obesity?

 

10 Reasons Why I Think My Pre-Schooler Is In the CIA

Posted on by

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

BS 11 7 12 13 300x240 10 Reasons Why I Think My Pre Schooler Is In the CIA

Surveillance footage of “pre-school” aka CIA training session. My daughter appears to be handing over a memory stick containing confidential documents. Note her intense expression. I have no explanation nor has she offered me one as to the origin of the yellow shades on her head.

Dear parents of preschoolers,

I’ve been dealing with this myself for a while, but I think it’s time to share my concern with the rest of you for your own good so here it is:

I believe my daughter’s pre-school is some sort of top-secret early CIA program that parents are kept in the dark about.

And I don’t believe that I’m the only parent in this situation; I am just the tip of the iceberg.

I also believe that the kids have sworn an oath to secrecy as good citizens protecting our country and they take this responsibility very, very seriously.

Think about it parents: if you have enrolled your children in pre-school full-time,  they are in there for at least 5-6 hours a day! But what do you really know about what they are doing, except for seeing their pre-selected weekly pics (see captured surveillance footage above),  a few art projects, and hearing about the occasional party to throw us off track?

They are very clever, but I have figured it out. So, to prove I’m  neither crazy nor delusional–and neither are you fellow silent sufferers, here are my top reasons why I think my pre-schooler is in some sort of top-secret government CIA program.

1) They Do “Stuff”

I recently asked my three-and a half-year old daughter about her day at school and here is a synopsis of our conversation:

Me: So what do you do at pre-school today?

Her: We did lots of stuff and then we did more stuff.

Me: Um, OK.

Stuff, stuff and more stuff. It’s just what they do. My daughter, whose vocabulary normally includes words like “actually”, “think”, “happy”, and “love”, is clearly a purist with a  preference for using the word “stuff” when it comes to describing her day, coupled with a matter-of-fact expression that further serves to thwart me (her intention I believe).

I even bowed to the assumed wisdom of one (possibly brainwashed) parent with older children, who admonished me that I was not asking specific questions, such as “did you paint today”?

Dutifully I asked my daughter that, and got a slightly pitying look from her, and a resounding…wait for it… head shake  no.

2) She’s Sworn to a Code of Silence

It’s as if their school’s theme song is the Go-Go’s “Our Lips Are Sealed” (and friends of mine born in the 1980s-look it up)!

Whatever I say or do, I’m unable to get any specifics from her about her school experiences. For example, ask me about my day (PLEASE I BEG OF YOU,SOMEONE, ANYONE ASK ME-nah forget it, that’s not happening) and I won’t shut up–you’ll get tons of details. Just ask my husband. Her, not so much, not right away anyway.

However, an hour after school time is over, it’s Crystal time and I can barely get a word in edgewise. This becomes particularly important when I need to speak to a doctor, take detailed information down over the phone, or make an appointment that requires the person on the other end to actually hear me.

It’s a conspiracy I tell you, and a mini form of mom torture.

3) Photos are Verboten 

I receive photos from the school of her each week, but for some reason known only to them all the photos show her with her eyes cast down or averted from the camera, as if she is hiding something.
Very suspect. Because. She. Never. Looks. Directly. Into. The. Camera.
Case in point:
Here she is last year as a baby recruit working with what I believe are some coding documents.
web 2 150x150 10 Reasons Why I Think My Pre Schooler Is In the CIA

 

4) Circle Time is Code for “Bad Behavior Explored”

I have a theory that circle time is when the kids get instructions to test the moral fibers of their parents, determine our reactions and assess our empathy levels. They do this by exploring scenarios of unacceptable behavior and gauging our responses.

For example, I asked my daughter about circle time yesterday. She paused in her relentless goal of watching as many episodes of Dora the Explorer on Demand as she can before going to bed, furrowed her little face and then proceeded to deflect like the true professional she is.

“Somebody ripped the book, the book was ruined,” she told me solemnly reporting this reading-related incident. Another friend told me that her daughter reported a stolen Elmo juice box intrigue.

Undaunted,  I tried again yesterday.

Me: What did you do in circle time today?

Her: “Bob (name changed to protect the maybe not so innocent) cried.”

Me: During circle time?  Thinking to myself: I know this boy and he seems a hardy type.

Her: Yes,”.

Me: “Why did he cry?”

Her: “I think he missed his  mommy.”

Repeated plaintively, head cocked staring me down. “He missed his mommy!”

Very interesting. She threw in deflection, and added in a heap of mommy guilt for good measure just to throw me further off the track.

Well played daughter. Well played.

5) Are Legos Legit?

Indulge me and ponder the concept of LEGOS for a moment. They are in every pre-school. For what purpose? Why/what do children need to build so bad, and who needs them to build it? Is there a secret LEGO-building factory that they are a part of?

Ask yourself that question….I do.

6)  I Believe She Has a Double

According to her teachers my daughter is a true Gem:  polite, helpful, very sociable, with lots of empathy for other kids.

Obviously, she has a double acting on her behalf during the day. How else to explain the tantrum I’ve deemed the “I Want More Goldfish Crackers Caper” when she went batshit crazy for ONE HOUR AND A HALF over her overwhelming need for This. One. Specific. Food.

A demand that she repeated over and over in an endless litany that felt as long as my pregnancy was.

She had clearly honed this skill somewhere and was now testing it on me. It was the kid equivalent of chinese water torture…or water boarding. Behavior that was It designed to make me, um, crackers.

7. Unexplainable Stains On Her Clothes 

One day its an orange stain that confounds me.

“Did you paint with orange today,” I ask her.

“No,” she replies, “I used green.”‘

“Green! I don’t see anything green. Did one of the kids use orange paint,” I ask tentatively.

“No. Mommy. No. Orange. Paint,”she yells back.

“Did you get an orange as a snack?”

“No.”

And so it goes. Confounding me and making me question my very sanity.

8. Snack Time Syndrome

There is one bright spot for me in all this. My daughter is great at talking about what she ate at snack time. That’s why I’ve figured out the code for it. The code for snack time is “you’ve got to give the grownups something or they’ll break.”

One friend says, “If I ask over and over I can often get a result about snack of the day. But that’s it.”

Hard to believe but although she is out of the house for hours, the only “nugget” of info (or intel) she can provide is about snack time. Usually its to tell me that she didn’t like what I provided.

“No more yogurt mommy.”

“But you used to like yogurt honey.”

“Mommy. mommy. You need to be a good listener. No. More. Yogurt.”

At least she’s sharing info about something, I tell myself.

But what I “get” often adds to the mystery.

9. All Thoughts Dora Aside, They Still Can’t Relinquish Their Backpacks

The backpacks must have top-secret information. My daughter won’t let it leave her body not even when she gets in the car. When we get home, she empties it out first (probably checking that no confidential documents have been stashed where I can get access to them), after which she keeps it arms length away from her for the rest of the day.

10.  They Carry Nuts or Peanut Items as a Weapon

My daughter goes to a nut-free school. Why then every morning do I have to wrest some peanut-containing granola bar or breakfast bar, or cereal container out of her hands. A fight that does not go easily, until I manage to grab the dangerous item. Why then, oh why, do I see her in the back of the car, with a tiny piece of the food “weapon” still in her hand, or sometimes even secreted away in her mouth. Why is she so determined to hang on to the toxic-to-other-kids morsel.

For what nefarious reasons does she need to protect herself?

And let me leave you with one last thought. Nap Time?

Does your child EVER nap at home? No, I didn’t think so. I know mine stopped hers more than eight months ago. So why only in school? And what  makes them so agreeable to do it?

You mean to tell me that the child who fights her bedtime routine tooth and nail, simply says ok, and goes right to sleep when told by the teacher? What mind control sessions are occurring during this so-called nap time?

That’s the next conspiracy I plan to uncover. Who’s with me?

Do you have intel that your child is enrolled in a secret government program, too? Write and tell me about it.

For a totally different take on how I view my daughter please read And She Danced

 

It’s Not the Religion in the Man That Matters, It’s the Man in the Religion

Posted on by
0052 200x300 Its Not the Religion in the Man That Matters, Its the Man in the Religion
He’s not Jewish….not a problem.

 

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

I grew up thinking I’d marry a Jewish man. My mother and her parents left Poland during the Holocaust and ended up in Israel, while my father’s parents were Orthodox Jews, with my grandfather the clear patriarch of the family.  My father had also attended the same Yeshiva my sister’s husband’s father attended. Is it any wonder, I thought I’d follow in those steps?

So here’s my confession: I’m a Jdate veteran from years ago (ok, the 1990s).

I think I became a Jdate aficionado after exhausting the limited supply of able-bodied Jewish men from my local temple.

Now, the stories I could tell you could boil water! Guys in their 30s living in the basement of their parents homes; successful businessmen asking for late night dates (um, sorry, but I don’t go out at 11:00 pm on a Thursday night, just because you think I’m “hot)”. And don’t get me started on the guys who expected me to schlep to Connecticut or meet them at the train for a cup of coffee (thanks, but I’ll pass), or separated married men, or guys who were clearly into shiksas, but had signed up with JDate to please their parents. And of course, there were the always entertaining guys who lied about their height (yeah, if you have to stand on your tippy toes just to look at 5’7 ½ me in the eyes, I don’t think you are 5’10” dude).

Maybe it was because in the 90s and with the influx of dating sites like Jdate and the more secular Match.com, and E-Harmony, it was a smorgasbord of women for men, and they could afford to show bad behavior (for every time I said no to a late night date, whether Jdate or some other site, I’m sure some less confident gal was saying yes). And this was before the book that changed the lives of every self-respecting east coast living gal, The Rules.

The best was the hapless guy who told me his sexual fantasies right before the appetizers arrived (let’s just say that the oysters weren’t so appealing after he told me what he’d like to do with pearls). He told me he thought I’d be into it because I’m a magazine editor aka a “communicator.”

Back when I was a magazine editor I penned a dating column, and called myself The Dating Diva, the title of which caused my friends to constantly subside into paroxysms of uncontrollable laughter. As a guest on Rolanda, Gordon Elliot, America’s Talking, and other long-gone to that great media green room in the sky morning shows, I had the opportunity to spout advice to women like, “make sure that if you volunteer for a non-profit, get on the party planning committee, so you can meet everyone, and “always end a phone call a bit unexpectedly to leave them wanting more (apologies if I borrowed a little from Seinfeld). I also taught relationship classes at the Learning Annex (years before Ramona of The Housewives of New York took over that niche) with titles guaranteed to pack a room, such as Power Dating, or How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams.

Often, my dates (okay the stalkery ones) would Google me, and that would make for uncomfortable chatting. Him: “are you planning to write or talk about me?” Me: “Um, maybe.” I was no Taylor Swift, but talking about what I did, probably wasn’t my best opening line.

At any rate, because I was the Dating Diva (or despite it) I sure dated a lot. But. Only. Jewish. Men.

Patriarchal Grandpa would say to me: “Why haven’t you met a nice Jewish man, Estelle?”

Me: “I don’t know, Grandpa, I’m looking”

Patriarchal Grandpa: “You need someone tall, because you’re tall, and you also need to learn how to cook. That’s why you haven’t met a nice Jewish man, you don’t cook!”

Maybe it was because of this kind of rhetoric that I was more focused at that time, on the religion of the man I was dating than the man himself. I had to get rid of some strong cultural pressure to take the blinders off my eyes, so that I could see for myself the man behind the religion.

Which brings me to my husband. Who’s not Jewish. And by the time I met him in 2003, that didn’t matter at all.

What’s crucial to me is that he is open to exploring and participating in my cultural rituals (admittedly, he delights in devouring my mom’s Chanukah Latkes). I love seeing his patrician face bedecked by a yarmulke at one of the myriad bat mitzvahs or Shabbat dinners we have gone to throughout our nearly eight-year marriage.

As for Patriarchal Grandpa, shortly before Grandpa passed away, he met my husband, and I think in his own (non-verbal way) he approved.

Here is a paraphrase of our conversation at the time.

Patriarchal Grandpa: Are you cooking yet?

Me: “No. I don’t cook.”

Patriarchal Grandpa sighs and looks at the guy I’m with

Patriarchal Grandpa: “He’s your boyfriend”

Me: “Yes, Grandpa”

Patriarchal Grandpa: “Not Jewish”? “

Me: “No, Grandpa, he’s not Jewish”

Patriarchal Grandpa: (lifting his eyebrows and nodding)

“He’s tall!”

Grandpa died three weeks later.

Here’s what I’d like to tell Patriarchal Grandpa today:

“I love you Grandpa, but although the man I married (who I’m so glad you met) is not Jewish, he’s smart, kind, successful, a great husband and father…and you know what else.

He can cook!”

How did the man you married or the partner you ended up with differ from who you thought you should choose?

 

This post originally appeared on Married My Sugar Daddy

 

How to Stop Suffering from the “Only Child Syndrome”

Posted on by

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

IMG 7707 150x150 How to Stop Suffering from the Only Child SyndromeWith the devastation wrought by Hurricane Sandy, many families have spent the time since cocooning with their child or children.

I’ve heard that some of the kids have played together well, while other moms have told me that “they are constantly fighting over toys, treats, hugs, and the best legos.”

And recently a friend told me that she is losing sleep at night because she only has one child; and “I feel guilty that he doesn’t have a sibling when so many of his friends do.” She says, “I’m just waiting for him to ask me why he doesn’t have a brother or sister, and don’t know what I’m going to say.”

I have one child too. A girl, 3 1/2; and we don’t plan to have any more. Without over sharing I had a very difficult pregnancy and felt that I couldn’t handle another child without sacrificing my marital and personal happiness. Also, I don’t feel any guilt about the decision; it’s the right one for our family.

As a journalist,I wanted to see what the research says about having and being an only child and discover the long-term effects of being raised as a singleton (full disclosure: both my husband and I have siblings).

I read the informative book, The Case for the Only Child, written by social psychologist Susan Newman, Ph.D.  and found some eye-opening statistics

*According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the single-child family is the fastest growing family unit and has been for more than two decades

*Statistics from the National Institutes of Health show more women are having their babies later in life (41% of newborns are born to women over the age of 35)

Yes, Most of the moms I know had their child/children when they were 35-43. I know several pregnant women, and they are in their early forties.

*Mothers of one child are the happiest (older parents are happier too)

The moms I know who are happiest are the older ones, maybe because they have already had varied life experiences, so don’t feel they are missing out on much by being parents.

*Adding more children to a family has no effect on fathers’ happiness but a negative effect on mothers’ contentment

*Siblings are not essential for “normal” development and the stereotypes we’ve heard about the only child (bossy, pushy, selfish, lonely) are not correct

In fact, according to Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, co-director of the Marriage Project at Rutgers University, one child fulfills the maternal and parenting urges of more and more people these days and allows parents to keep a somewhat “adult-centered” life.

So what to do about those questions from family, strangers or as my friend was wondering your own child?

“When someone asks an inappropriate question or offers up a ‘he needs a sibling’ statement, you are within your rights to not respond,” says Newman. “You may even want to toss a question back at them: ‘Are you asking me about my personal life? You’ll forgive me if I don’t answer.’ Good chance you will get an apology.”

I kind of think that response is a little harsh. In my case,  a few months ago at a kids party, one of the moms repeatedly told my daughter, “you should tell your mommy you need a brother or sister.”  I think she was well-meaning, but after the third time she said it, I smiled and gently but pointedly told her, “we don’t talk about that with her.”

I nervously I waited for my daughter to bring it up, and was ready with reasons (we love you so much; this way all mommy’s and daddy’s love goes to you); but she didn’t much to my relief. Frankly, she knows that her other friends have siblings, but she doesn’t seem to miss the experience. Perhaps she also thinks that our cat is her sibling. Because she does seem to act territorial around him.

And what about family? Mine is very understanding (on both sides) so we don’t have an issue there. “If your family just won’t let the issue go, Newman suggests saying, “This is our family, we’re happy and it’s the way it’s going to be.”

Don’t be afraid to get angry to stop the badgering, says Newman. Another firm response: “We talked about having more children and one child is our choice—it works for us.”

When well-meaning people ask me “are you going to have another baby,” my pat response was to say, “I’m not sure,” or “we’ll see.” Now I’m more likely to say something like “We’re one and done.”
Is your child a singleton and how to do you respond to questions from people and/or your child about siblings?