My Daughter’s Eyes

 

(Updated)

Hereyes 375x500 My Daughters Eyes

 

 

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

I look into my daughter’s eyes and I see myself reflected in them. But more than that…I see all the colors of emotion that a five-year old is capable of.

I see joy: in the fact that she can swim the length of an Olympic-size pool (albeit, with lots of breaks).

I see trust in men (whether I’m comfortable with that or not is another story). The only reason she is so comfortable with men is because of her close relationship with my husband; which sometimes leaves me feeling like a third wheel, but I oddly enough, I would have it no other way.

I see certainty, that she can rest in the comfort of my love; that I will be there to catch her (and not just because I hover, which I have been known to do).

I see a zest for life, every time we dance together for no reason at all, or because she has picked up my habit of making up songs and singing them to herself and others.

I see everything that I was not, and everything I once was, and yet we are completely different people.

I see that one day she will fly away, and I will look after her with tearful pride, knowing that every day she has been in our care, my husband and I have worked with her to build to that moment.

For more about my daughter: And She Danced

 

This poem reflects the way we are raising her:

On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

QUESTION:

What do you see when you look in your child/children’s eyes?

15 thoughts on “My Daughter’s Eyes”

  1. Thanks Paula. I definitely see that mothering becomes more psychological and less physical labor (no more potty training, bottles, sippy cups, etc.) as she grows older. Now, its “I’m 3 but I feel I can be as independent as a 15 year old.” No. I don’t think so! I am sure that one day I will no longer be the center of her world, but I still always want to be a safe place for her to rest in, just like you with your kids.

  2. My kids are grown now, but when I look into their eyes, I still see those little wonders that have shaped their years. But, because they are 21 & 19 and know everything, I also often see sarcasm, exasperation at my admonitions to be careful, and sometimes fear of the unknown, which makes me feel like a mother – still…always…

    1. Thanks Paula. I definitely see that mothering becomes more psychological and less physical labor (no more potty training, bottles, sippy cups, etc.) as she grows older. Now, its “I’m 3 but I feel I can be as independent as a 15 year old.” No. I don’t think so! I am sure that one day I will no longer be the center of her world, but I still always want to be a safe place for her to rest in, just like you with your kids.

  3. Such a lovely post.  She is precious.  The poem you chose is beautiful.  My hubby gave me a copy of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran when were celebrating our first Christmas.  It is amazing.

  4. Estelle,
    Beautiful words. My heart just explodes when I look into the eyes of my children. I want them to always look at me with that innocence, that love, that feeling that I will solve and know everything. Time marches on and they will grow and find their own way. They will realize that I am only human and am not perfect. For now…I take it all in.

    1. Thanks Josephine. You show great wisdom in what you write. One day they will all realize that their moms (myself included) are perfectly imperfect. Right now, let’s just bask in the glow of their admiration:)
      Estelle

  5. Ahh the innocence of youth.  Too bad that life’s experiences may one day taint her idealistic attitude.

    Kathy

  6. Once again you write beautifully about what the rest of us think, but are unable to transcribe onto paper.  I am one of the many who is rendered speechless when I see my eyes reflected back in my child.  Thank you for sharing your special moments and for sharing that beautiful poem.

    1. Thanks so much Melissa. “Speechless” is a great way to put the awe we feel when we see ourselves mirrored in our child’s eyes. Glad you like the poem; I read it years ago before I had my daughter, and it really resonated with me.
      Estelle

  7. I read this post and see a caring and nurturing Mom who can put into words so eloquently the admiration that a Mother has for her child. Thanks for sharing your candid thoughts with us, reminding us to cherish all that they do and to enjoy and live in the moment.

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