By Jan Udlock

From Estelle: Jan Udlock is my guest blogger today; we are both doing the Word Count Blogathon; I love learning about new subjects, and homeschooling is an area of education I have little knowledge in, making it a natural subject to be explored on my blog.

From Jan: I want to thank Estelle Sobel Erasmus for having me today on her blog.

Since I’m on the fringe of retiring from homeschooling my five children after 19 years, I wanted to share a few benefits of my experience. A little about me: I come from a super feminist background and never wanted children. However, I found salvation in the Lord; got married and then chose to stay home with my kids.

My first thought was that homeschoolers were a bunch of over-controlling mothers. Then I looked into it further. Here’s what I found to be true.

Lessons in Love: Homeschooling my children enhanced my relationship with them. I would never trade the relationship I have built with them as they’ve grown into the young adults they are today.

A Mirror of Me,Their Mom:  I realized that children are our mirrors so if you notice any impatience, sarcastic attitudes or arrogance in your kids, take a second look at yourself. Ouch!

Social Solutions: I find homeschooled kids are great at interacting with many people, and not just their peers, because through homeschooling they have a great deal of interaction with kids of many ages

Seek and Ye Shall Find: If you don’t have the ability to teach your kids a certain subject, there are always numerous resources out there to use. I google any question I have and I like to use the website Khan Academy for math questions.

Accountability is Key: You need to keep yourself accountable to someone or some organization depending on what state you live in so that you can get help when needed. I can honestly say my first two kids had a solid math, reading and writing background but I dropped the ball in Science and History. However, my son recently graduated with a BS in Health and Human Performance, and is a personal fitness trainer. Through the help of other people who were homeschooling their kids, I was able to give him what he needed in Science and History, and he made up for my deficit. My daughter? She just graduated with a BA in Sociology at the age of 21.

A Sensa of Mensa?: I once thought if I homeschooled, I’d have brilliant children and that didn’t play out quite like I expected. My kids are a mixture: I have academic kids, and I have ones that are gifted with hands-on abilities.

It’s OK to Play Favorites: You know your child’s strength and his areas that he needs to work on so that makes it easy for you to work one-on-one with him. You also don’t have to waste giving him busy work if you know that your child understands a concept.

Currently my last three kids who are still living at home are enrolled at a homeschool charter school so I’m looking into my new choices.

Still, whatever new adventure I embark on next, I will always value the days, months and years of hard work, tears, and laughter, trying to find one more way to explain a math concept, or calm a child who has torn up his school work, and most importantly, finding the time to savor our small (but important) victories.

What benefits do you see in homeschooling?

Jan Udlock is a freelance writer, mom of five, blogger and recently works as a virtual assistant. She can be found at Imperfect Mom.

Listen to Your Mother gave voice to our own tales

of living in the trenches, of personal details

of hopes, and of laughs and of sad separation

We wanted to share, and we felt the elation.

Our stories of mothering, we wrote every word

Finally, we felt that our voices were heard

The gang cast in New York’s show, we met and it was fate

We focused on May 6th as our special due date.

“Giving motherhood a microphone“, Ann Imig‘s plan was genius

The show felt more Vagina Monologues than Puppetry of the Penis.

Our producer Varda Steinhardt, a squashed mom yes she is

Knew how to bring out the best of us in this business of show biz

And director, Amy Wilson a fine actress and a writer

Worked with us on nuances to get our pieces tighter

Associate Producer Holly Rosen Fink, brought sponsors in galore

With Betsy Cadel joining, support was even more.

10 LTYM cites throughout the states joined our celebration

Sponsors like  Fresh Direct, BlogHer and Snapfish spanned across the nation

Local businesses like The Motherhood, Museum of Motherhood, Mind Over Matter Health & Fitness and much more

Craved connections to our show at the JCC; they knew we had the floor!

Last Sunday it was show time, now there was no denying

Before our tech rehearsal I admit I did some crying

So I pulled up my bootstraps and gave them a sharp tug

I recovered in the green room where emcee Rene Syler, gave me a hug

The next day she placed my own Life Lessons on her site

Where I revealed my long-held dream to help mothers day and night.

First Patty Chang Anker told of her daughter’s sweet cookie jar story

I looked up at the audience;  they saw her in her glory

Next, Howard Margulies, reminisced about his cha-chaing mom Charlene

His delivery was flawless, he really set a scene

Kathy Curto spoke of her late mom’s delicious dishes

The flavors she described, gave the audience food wishes

Ilana Wiles was up next, and her tale rang so true

When a baby takes over, you lose so much of you

Then it was my turn and I took a chance

and spoke of my sweet Crystal and her little dance

Photo: Jennifer Lee Photography

Alysia Reiner and Abby Sher spoke of a small affair; I admit that it was bracing

I enjoyed their performance, and finally, my pulse stopped its racing

Una LaMarche doesn’t like cargo shorts, of that there is no doubt

Her funny warning message to her baby son said what life was all about

Kate Mayer talked about the impact of her daughter leaving home

It’s hard to let a child go, even if college is where she’ll  roam

Then Deborah Goldstein joked about the reality of kids puking

Her partner laughed out loud, but nobody was duking

Kirsten Piccini hails from PA, and we all signed her shoe

Her boys may take the spotlight, but Kirsten shimmers, too

Producer Varda Steinhardt, spoke about how her mom is aging

As time marches on, she showed us all that there’s no point in raging

Director, Amy Wilson relayed her son’s medical woes

She said it real; you felt her pain right down to your toes.

Cynthia Bastidas was the opposite of remorse

She made a life decision, and had to stay the course

Eve Lederman is as different from her mother as she could dare

We laughed as we heard her urgent need for that shower chair.

Then, at the end of our show, Jonny Schremmer covered all the bases

And now everybody knows it’s cause that lady’s Aces!

And then the crowd applauded, we basked in admiration

We barely noticed residues of the day’s perspiration

As our producers gave a check to Room to Grow we all felt so proud

Babies raised in poverty were helped cause we spoke out loud

Time to get our accolades, and yes, there were a lot

Our cast party at Tolani had friends and family filling every spot.

We had to end the evening, and we felt it rushed too soon

So we’re planning for a reunion party as early as this June!

Thanks to the Mother of Listen to Your Mother, Ann Imig, our production/directing team, our dynamic emcee and the fantastic cast for a life-changing experience as part of this cultural phenomenon; I will follow your careers with anticipation of more great success; and can’t wait to see you all again.

To my husband Werner, Mom (Miriam), Dad,(Jerome), and my friends Laura, Josephine, Linda, Sheetal, Munira, Katja, Sharon, Randy, and Melissa it means so much to me that you were at the JCC that day to support me in this celebration of motherhood. I’ll never forget it.

Here is the link to the blog/talk radio show I did last week with host Joshua Margolis on TurtleShell Health talking about mothers’ and women’s issues.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/turtleshellhealth/2012/04/25/what-mothers-and-women-need-and-how-to-get-it

What do you think is the most important issue facing mothers today?

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

Tomorrow is the Listen to Your Mother show in NYC, which I’m proud to say I’m a part of.

LTYM is a series of readings (in 10 cities) in celebration of all aspects of motherhood. The mission of each LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER production is to “give voice to motherhood in all of its complexity, diversity, and humor.”

In this third year of the series, nearly 150 authors, writers, bloggers and performers across the country will read their own essays which give voice to the beauty, beast, and barely-rested of motherhood. So says the press release.

All I know is I’ve met the most amazing group of women (and a man) anyone can ever meet. They are actresses, philanthropists, advertisers, copywriters, journalists, editors, but most importantly, many of them are moms. They hail from New Jersey, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Westchester, Upstate New York and even as far away as Boston.

What’s really important: all fifteen of us support each other. We listened to each other speak our pieces in rehearsal, and chuckled when appropriate, found tears in our eyes despite ourselves, and gave a psychic hug to each other when needed (more often on FB, then in the actual rehearsal studio).

I’m also so excited that  TV personality, author and blogger Rene Syler, who anchored CBS News’ The Early Show from 2002-2006 will be the host of our show. Since publishing Good Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting in 2007, Rene (who is a lovely woman)  has launched and grown her hugely popular website www.GoodEnoughmother.com, which serves as a forum to discuss a range of topical parenting issues

The NYC show is being directed by Broadway and TV actress, The Huffington Post contributor, and author Amy Wilson, who wrote the 2010 book When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be. LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER is being produced by Varda Steinhardt with Holly Rosen Fink and Betsy Cadel as Associate Producers.

Amy Wilson found a way to get us to dig deep into ourselves to give a finer, more nuanced performance than before at last week’s rehearsal (our second). 

Here’s what she did:

She told us to go into the corner and then read the words of our essays out loud one word at a time. “Read the word at first the regular way, and then repeat it and as you say it feel it deep in your marrow,” she instructed us all-knowingly .

I followed her advice (we all did)  and it made a huge difference. The next time I read my piece, I felt as if it was firmly planted in my heart; and I didn’t feel outside of my body for a moment (and that’s a good thing).

Here is my fabulous cast (and me):

The show will feature readings from author Abby Sher (whose memoir, Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying was published by Scribner in 2009), former Managing Editor of The New York Observer Una LaMarche, actress, producer and writer Alysia Reiner (who appeared in the Oscar-winning film Sideways and is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post), Letters From My Sister author and a frequent performer at The Moth Eve Lederman, writer Howard Margulies (brother of Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Donald Margulies), journalist and mothers’ advocate  Estelle Sobel Erasmus, writer Kathy Curto (whose essays have been featured on NPR), and bloggers/writers Patty Chang Anker, Deborah Goldstein, Kathy Mayer, Kirsten Piccini, Jonny Schremmer and Ilana Wiles.

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER NYC will be performed on Sunday, May 6^th (tomorrow) at 2pm at The Goldman-Sonnenfeldt Auditorium at The JCC in Manhattan (334 Amsterdam Avenue). Tickets are SOLD OUT.

The NYC production will be donating 10% of proceeds to Room to Grow, a non-profit organization focused on providing developmental services to young children. I love this about the show! It has heart!

We will also be on YouTube, so I’ll post the link after I get it.

For more information, please visit www.ListenToYourMotherShow.com

By Estelle Sobel Erasmus

Procter & Gamble, a corporation noted for their support of moms sponsored a very popular ad in honor of the 2012 London Olympic Games that my husband emailed to me thinking I’d like it. While I watched it I did wipe away a tear, and then I felt a little frustrated…just a little.

Here is the ad:

The admittedly heart-tugging ad shows mothers from several continents do the everyday work of mothering, that every parent is familiar with— waking the kids, cooking for and feeding them, getting them out of the house on time to get on the bus. These children, are different, however, these children are destined to be Olympic champions. So we see them through early childhood, later teen years and finally achieving their (and their moms) dream of being an Olympic athlete.

Ok. The support and nurturing part I get. What I find a little irksome is that interspersed between the nurturing, hugs, kisses, proud smiles, are mothers doing the “work” of mothering: cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking the kids to the bus and other acts of caretaking. The role of mother to support, nurture, well, isn’t that also the role of parenting—so where is the father in this whole scenario? Off somewhere to the side; definitely not involved in the “work” of parenting or even co-parenting.

The tagline of the ad:

The hardest job in the world is the best job in the world

Thank you, mom

This Procter & Gamble commercial honors everything that all moms do to help their children succeed by showcasing the amazing moms behind Olympic athletes at the London 2012 Olympic Games.

The company also has an official “Thank You, Mom Facebook Page—with over 550,150 likes and counting. The pages allow its fans to read about P&G products, see notes from athletes and learn about the latest London Olympic games news. The page also includes an app where you can thank your mother using pictures, words or even videos. As a part of the P&G Thank You Mom promotion, P&G has committed to raise $5 million to support local youth sports programs in many countries, through a portion of sales and donations from the company’s brands.

Here’s the thing: Procter & Gamble has spent a lot of money to celebrate the work of mothering.

But, I must still ask: why isn’t the work of mothering separate from the role of mother? It is expected that cooking, cleaning, laundry is just what moms do. Also, did any of these mothers work outside the home for income?

At any rate, this is less a P& G issue than a societal issue; however, I hope P&G can give a balanced viewpoint when it comes to their treatment of father’s day.

But, Corporate America, I’m putting you on notice that I don’t want to see more of these “mother is the best” ads. P&G did it and did it well.

Instead, put your money where your ad is, and work to get mothers resources; support us for fair wages, paid family leave, paid sick time, affordable pre-school, support for women who lose out in retirement because they have been out of the workforce.

We can let go of the sentiments; we can’t let go of the need for progress.

Now that you’ve seen the ad, what do you think about it?

Estelle Sobel Erasmus is an activist, blogger, journalist, a supporter of mothers’ and women’s rights, and will be speaking at the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement on Rebelling Against ‘Mom’: Finding Fulfillment Beyond the Media’s Myths of Motherhood in mid-May.

I would love to interview and write a feature on my idol: Gloria Steinem 

Here are three reasons why:

Mother of the Movement: She is feminist, journalist and activist who is also the mother of the woman’s liberation movement in the late 1960s and 1970s. Gloria would make an interesting interview, because she is also full of contradictions. After a brief stint as a playboy bunny, where she experienced discrimination first-hand, she started Ms. magazine.

Journalist Du Jour: She was a columnist for New York Magazine, and published an article in the late ’60s entitled “After Black Power, Women’s Liberation,” which touched a nerve in the collective zeitgeist. after which she quickly rose as a leader to the upper echelons of feminism.

Founder and Builder: Throughout her illustrious career, Gloria Steinem has been the founder of many organizations. She co-founded the Women’s Media Center along with Jane Fonda and Robin Morgan, an organization that works to amplify the voices of women in the  media through advocacy, media and leadership training and the creation of original content.

Tell me who you’d like to meet or interview and why?